Love and Money: Can Romance Survive Economic Pressure?

As lovers across the world prepare to celebrate Valentine’s Day, which is often associated with romance, grand gestures and gift-giving, there are many who are quietly struggling with a less romantic reality.

Traditionally seen as a day for people to show their love and affection to family and partners, it has slowly become commercialised, creating difficulties for those in poorer sections of society.

Given the current economic state, can love survive when money is scarce?

For some couples in Namibia, the answer does not involve the amount being spent, but rather the way it is lived.

The Weekender this week hit the streets to find out how romance can survive financial pressure among lovers and couples when approaching such a day.

‘NO SECRETS’

Esther Shaduka, who has been married for eight years, admits that financial pressures are indeed real, although they have not defined her marriage with her husband, Cosmos.

“At times, money pressure can be stressful, especially considering family commitments. We tackle it by sitting down to plan and prioritise,” Shaduka says, adding that she and her husband have shared finances, with both having full access to it.

She says having no secrets has helped them avoid conflicts. “My husband is more financially disciplined, so he usually allocates the funds, while I handle most of the spending. This balance works well for us.”

Like every couple, they have had their share of differences during hard financial times. “Yes, we have had moments of disagreement, especially when finances were tight,” Shaduka reveals.

“However, we have realised that the value of effective communication and understanding far outweighs the inconvenience of arguing. We always resolve our differences calmly and respectfully.”

One of their hardest talks was when they had to delay personal goals, she says, adding that although it was not easy, it helped them gain patience and trust each other’s judgement.

REAL LOVE

Shaduka is of the view that Valentine’s Day might compel people to overspend.

“Very often people spend money they don’t have,” she says, adding that social media and high expectations put pressure on people to impress.

“Unfortunately, love is often judged by what you can provide financially. But real love is shown through consistency, care, respect and commitment, not just money,” she says.

Despite the money problems they may face, Shaduka believes shame is not an element in their relationship. “We’re a Christian family. We believe God is our provider. If we don’t have the money to buy something, then we just don’t buy it. We encourage each other, and we’re hopeful.”

She says in the face of scarcity, the focus is on emotional bonding.

“Quality time is spent together, we pray together, emotionally support each other, and cherish the moments spent together,” Shaduka says, adding that love is not built by spending but by kind deeds, patience and unity.

‘IF WE DON’T HAVE IT, WE LIVE WITH THAT’

Patrick Mwashindange, who married his long-time partner Simaneka Amos in 2024, says money has never been allowed to get in the way of their relationship.

“Money does not really affect us, and we do not let it interfere in our relationship at all. We do as we can.”

Mwashindange says they have never experienced any major conflict regarding money. “The only difficult conversation we had was when we were planning for our wedding.”

When it comes to Valentine’s Day spending, he says he has no doubts whatsoever. “I don’t know how other people spend their money, but for us, if we don’t have it, we live with that,” he says. “We don’t let peer pressure meddle in our relationship.”

For him, the basis of a relationship is not money, but rather love. Still, he recognises that there is a burden on couples in general. “Money pressure has become a major source of tension, especially around Valentine’s Day,” Mwashindange says.

“Expectations to buy gifts, go out or prove affection financially push couples into stress, conflict and even debt.”

PEACE OVER PRESSURE

Moscow Hainyemba says being single on Valentine’s Day means freedom rather than loneliness. He says not celebrating Valentine’s Day is a way of saving himself from the financial stress that comes with it.
“Valentine’s has become expensive, and for some people, it creates stress instead of love,” Hainyemba says.
He adds that true love does not have to be defined by the ability to buy expensive gifts and dine out. Instead, being single for him means being able to focus on his goals and save money.

LOVE AS CARE, NOT COST

Registered nurse and Love Guide Us Foundation founder Marika Elago says working with vulnerable communities has significantly influenced her perspective of love.

“Love is more than romance,” she says. “It is care, patience and showing up for others.”

She says financial hard times have opened many people’s eyes to new ways of expressing their love.

“In difficult economic times, compassion and community support help people feel valued and hopeful,” Elago says.

Regarding young people, she suggests that the concept of Valentine’s needs a redefinition: “Meaningful love does not require money. Simple acts like time, kindness, emotional support and service to others are strong ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day.”

MONEY STRAINS THE HEART

Lifestyle modification adviser Queen Avula says financial stress is one of the biggest challenges for relationships in Namibia today, particularly when it comes to days like this.

“Financial stress is a significant factor for emotional stress due to unemployment, increased living costs and family responsibilities,” she says. “Financial stress can create anxiety, frustrations and emotional distance in relationships.”

Avula says financial pressure reveals different priorities: “Money pressure reveals differences in expectations, responsibilities and spending habits.

“Without transparency in communication, it can suddenly become a source of conflict and anger.”

Avula says celebrating this event without finances may lead to unhealthy behaviours in coping. “Couples may avoid honest conversations, blame each other, engage in secret spending, or emotionally disengage,” she says.

“Nevertheless, love can persist through such economic conditions. Love survives when couples face challenges as a team,” Avula says. “Honest communication, patience, gratitude and unity are essential.”

Her advice for Valentine’s Day is: “Never feel pressured to follow trends. Once you truly understand the meaning of love, it becomes joyful to be unpredictably romantic – without spending money.”

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.