Let Them Eat Tea!

Anne Hambuda

People on the internet can be so delusional.

The other day, I saw someone respond to a photo of the celebrity couple Damson Idris and Lori Harvey embracing each other with a comment that read: “Her ability to make whoever she is dating feel like he is the last must be studied.”

Of course, the author was making reference to the fact that Harvey is considered promiscuous by many people on the internet, and was insinuating that she makes each subsequent partner feel they are the one, when they actually aren’t.

My immediate thought was: “How the hell would you know what Damson Idris is feeling or thinking?”

None of us truly knows what goes on in the private lives of celebrities, and yet we often pass judgement and create narratives based on nothing more than a few paparazzi snapshots and social media posts.

This is precisely why I’ve learnt not to care about rumours or what is being said about me out there in the world.

Sometimes I hear the most outlandish things about myself, and it used to bother me. But over time, I’ve realised that if I start confirming or denying rumours today, I will never find peace.

I will be caught in a never-ending cycle of explaining myself to people, clearing up misconceptions, and trying to convince the masses of things they’ll never believe.

The truth is that we all love a little bit of gossip, especially if it already fits the narrative we’ve created in our minds. It’s human nature to seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs – a phenomenon psychologists call “confirmation bias”.

We tend to listen to and accept information that aligns with our preconceived notions, while ignoring or dismissing that which challenges them.

So, in a world where gossip and rumours thrive, it’s almost impossible to escape being judged or misunderstood.

In this age of social media, where everyone’s lives are on display for the world to see, it’s easy to fall victim to the court of public opinion.

But it’s crucial to remember that most of what we see on the internet is carefully curated and filtered to project a particular image.

We post the highlights of our lives, the moments when we’re happy, successful or living our best moments. What we don’t often share are the struggles, the doubts and the moments of vulnerability.

This disparity between the polished online personas and the complex realities of our lives is something we must constantly bear in mind.

When I realised this, I began to care less about what others thought or said about me. I understood that their judgement is often based on incomplete information and a distorted perception of reality.

It’s easy to become consumed by the need for others’ validation and approval.

We often shape our decisions, choices and even our personalities to fit into the moulds society has created for us. But the moment we free ourselves from this bondage of external opinions, we find the strength to embrace our individuality and chart our own path.

To live life without this fear is to reclaim your own narrative, to be the author of your story. It means you understand that people will always talk, but their words need not define your reality.

It means you can be comfortable with who you are and the choices you make, regardless of whether they align with popular opinion.

The path to this kind of self-assurance isn’t always easy. It often requires introspection, self-acceptance and resilience.

It demands that you find your own voice and listen to your inner wisdom. It means learning to trust your judgement, even when it goes against the grain. And, most importantly, it means being okay with being imperfect, making mistakes and growing from them.

In my life, I’ve seen the transformation that comes with this freedom. I’ve pursued dreams I was once hesitant to chase, spoken my mind on issues that matter to me, and embraced the aspects of my identity that make me unique.

The result has been a sense of fulfilment and contentment I never thought was possible.

Living life without fear of what others say is like shedding a heavy coat of judgement and expectation. It allows you to step into the world with confidence, authenticity and a spirit of adventure. It empowers you to define your own success, regardless of the gossip and rumours that may swirl around you.

It’s a choice to live life on your terms, and it’s a choice that can bring immeasurable joy and fulfilment.

So, let the world talk.

You’ve got a life to live, and it’s yours to embrace fully.

– Anne Hambuda is a writer, commentator and poet. Follow her online or email her at
annehambuda@gmail.com for more.

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