Have you ever experienced a friendship that inexplicably changed when something great happened in your life?
You got a better job, came into a windfall, got into the university they really wanted to get into, or you bought a new car before they did? You may have felt that your friendship suddenly switched gears. It used to be so easy to talk but after your success you noticed that there was an underlying tension. You felt as though as you couldn't share your dreams with your friend anymore. You felt uncomfortable talking about the good things in your life for fear that it would make
them feel inadequate.
Positive changes in your life can be a difficult and threatening time for some of your friends. When something great happens for you, it shines a harsh and unflattering light on their own inadequacies. It's not that they actually begrudge you your success or even mean to be jealous. They could be upset that it's something they haven't achieved yet.
On the other hand, if you're the one noticing the jealousy rearing it's ugly head in your friendship, it's high time you change your perspective. If you know someone has achieved better than you, don't bring them down. These are your resources, not your competitors. They have what you are striving for, so learn from them.
Most people like to feel important and knowledgeable, so they're likely be flattered and willing to help you if you're genuinely interested in learning. Stop looking your gift horses in the mouth and cherish them for the treasures they are. Not only will your friendship improve when you're not courting the green-eyed monster, but you'll learn something to improve your own life.
Nickson Adolf is 18 years old and is a Grade 11 pupil at Otjikoto Senior Secondary School in Tsumeb. He enjoys writing and reading. Email him at adolnickson@gmail.com.
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