Is Everyone But Me On Drugs?

Is everyone taking some secret drug I don’t know about that is making them super happy, energised and efficient?

Seriously, how is everyone tending to all their responsibilities without losing their minds or pulling all their hair out?

I’m only a single, childless, introverted freelance writer, and I barely have the time and gusto to get to everything I need to, so I can’t imagine what doctors, bankers, mothers, those with multiple jobs or no time at all are doing to cope.

The thing is, it’s not just that I have to find the time and motivation to work, build my career, teach myself new skills, look out for opportunities and have a clear vision; I also need time to groom myself, clean my room, cook, eat, drink water and get enough sleep.

But it’s not just that either. I need to be eating the right foods, not giving myself any deficiencies, consuming the right quantities, drinking enough water with the right amount of electrolytes (whatever that is) and exercising. I also need to make sure I look presentable, so I have to spend either time or money or both on washing, braiding and undoing my hair.

I need to spend money on clothes, I need to know how to apply make-up and I need to have some social awareness so I can network. I also need to keep up with current events, care about the environment and other people, and advocate for myself.

Don’t get me started on maintaining relationships. There are like five people I actually want to speak to daily, but I absolutely must have a diary full of contacts I communicate with sometimes on something like their birthday or Christmas.

There are cousins, aunts, uncles who must not be forgotten, friends who demand your attention, and your newest infatuation who has to learn about your traumatic childhood and favourite colour.

If all that wasn’t bad enough, we also have to have dreams and aspirations. It’s not enough to just wake up and go with the motions every day. We must have goals and ambitions for ourselves, our bodies and our professional lives. We have to want more, to strive for better.

We must learn many things so we can be trusted to complete many tasks so we can earn more money to afford learning more things.

We have to dream, quite big, and then wake up every single day, put on a face and lay one brick down in the foundation of our life.

When all that is tended to, we also need to rest, meditate and take care of our minds. We should have creative pursuits, interests like playing or watching a sport, hobbies and personal projects that bring us joy and help us reset.

There are rarely any breaks. There’s no way for any of us to cease to exist just for a few days or weeks, so we can return renewed and refreshed. We have to be a person, a real-life functioning person, every single day.

Imagine if you could pause life for a bit, though. Like if instead of assisted suicide, there was like an assisted five-week coma. I think it’s a great idea, but the danger is that many people might wake up after three, 28 or 99 days away and immediately regret returning.

I don’t mean to sound morbid. I am just endlessly fascinated by the deep levels of delusion and psychosis required for us all to carry on as if existence is not something extraordinarily absurd. I can’t help but stare into the mesmerising abyss.

And yes, you can say life isn’t so bad. But is that true, though? I mean just from observation, it seems like most people are miserable and suffering to varying degrees. A few people on earth are rich in money or in spirit, so they’re enjoying themselves, but most are just on autopilot, following a script and waiting for death.

I don’t know yet what the future holds. I may still have a child, or I may not. It feels a bit selfish to bring someone here against their will just so they can spend 70 years trying to find meaning in themselves and in the world, just so they can either witness or participate in extreme suffering, disease and poverty, or just so they can pay bills every goddamn month.

It feels like we are in ‘The Matrix’. Nothing is real. Most things, like money, society, ideologies, marriage and names are a social construct. It only works because we all collectively agree to give meaningless things meaning.

That’s why I think everyone must be on drugs – something strong that helps them keep their heads down and ask very few questions about what’s actually going on.

I do better when I’m taking iron and magnesium and a probiotic and an omega three fatty acid capsule. I don’t want to sound lazy, but why is the baseline so much work to achieve?

This cocktail of pills doesn’t even do much else than make me feel standard. Like what kind of scam is that?

Or is the secret drug just self-actualisation to the highest degree? Is the key finding inner happiness and ignoring anything that doesn’t align with that narrative?

So many questions.

– Anne Hambuda is a writer, social commentator and poet. Follow her online or email her at annehambuda@gmail.com for more.

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