In the Wild

For the past week, I was on the Namibia Tourism Board’s #ShareMyNamibia tour, and I was reminded how simple life might have been in the past. So many things have changed today – we have technology and other types of ways to stay in touch via mobile, laptops and whatever digital device is available. But when all of that was not around, we just had face-to-face communication.

If you wanted to see the one you loved, you’d basically sneak out of the village and meet up in the bushes so that you could proclaim love for each other while looking at the sunset or simply hold hands and being satisfied with nothing more. Probably at the end of each day, after you were finished with your chores, you’d look forward to those moonlit nights where you’d be together and talk about life, and how nature was your friend… And this would carry on for a while until your parents would finally notice that you have been a bit too happy.

That was when you’d confess you found a potential love. You know meeting parents is never an easy situation, but you’d arrange it any way so that the village can be at peace.

The big day would arrive where everything is not too formal, but the seriousness in the air makes it awkward nonetheless. This phase would pass and you would tell all your friends about it, until you and your partner are finally accepted and would be happy because everyone around you is just as happy for you, because marriage and babies are somewhere in the mix. That would be it – living simply, comfortably and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

I guess that has all changed now.

The simple life we all love and crave seems to have disappeared. It has become harder to make an effort to meet up, due to everyone’s busy schedules because we all want to make a living. Or when two interested parties eventually find a way to hang out with each other, it’s never really about the simple things – it’s rather about having one night stands and abandoning partners when someone gets pregnant. That’s not really a couple now, is it?

There are children in relationships who date men or women years older than them and hide these relationships because they feel ‘afraid’ that their parents wouldn’t understand. But I thought parents were supposed to provide guidance? Where did the communication issue and level of trust of your own flesh and blood go wrong?

Why is it that we are not really making any effort to do the simple things in a relationship any more? Or is romance dying? Is that why the divorce statistics have become so high lately? Are we not taking our time to get to know our partners before we finally embark on a serious relationship? Or are we simply rushing into things?

It seems that people have become content with ‘right now’ happiness. You know, the kind of happiness that you only find temporarily and can disappear at any time.

Maybe it’s a relationship with someone who is married. Maybe it’s a sexual relationship with someone and when you ask ‘what are we?’, there are no replies. Maybe it’s finding someone to consort with for one night when you’re at a bar – and you don’t even know this person’s HIV status.

Until one day, you realise that all the consequences of your actions will come back at you.

I think it’s about time we take it down a notch and perhaps take love more seriously. Temporary happiness is dangerous. What if we take our time and figure out what we truly need to be happy? And if someone is there to share that with us… don’t they deserve a chance?

– @I_Am_MickeyB on Twitter; Mickey Nekomba on Facebook

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