DESPITE making fun, swearing at and insulting everyone and anyone who has made themselves guilty of outrageous behaviour weekly, since 2008, this column has failed to bring about any positive results. I give up!
What a delightful year!Could it become any better. When we start dedicating full television programmes to Philemon Moongo you know we’ve reached the point of no return.as every other year, for me lately, it started of poorly, developed into a complete disaster towards the middle and is ending with a rather loud stinking fart.But I’m not here to eulogise a rotten year. It’s just not newsworthy.a rather slow news week still managed to unseat that story about the farmer who got conned in the name of Jerry ekandjo in the bizarre stakes. the lengths these gomchas will go for some beef né. OK, it was 5 407kg of proper Namibian beef. I’m never switching off the radio again when these swapo okes are interviewed. I want to know what a minister sounds like and what a gomcha, who tries to sound like a minister, really sounds like. I thought everyone knew that no one speaks like Jerry. ‘swapo is the gaahaament and the gaahaament is swapo,’ he once said on NBC tV. Not sure they will have such deep insightful comment on MNet.I digress. We have some regular fish to fry. For example…Leah shaanika is back! the insulter of colleagues and accused persons, the merchant of lunch packets, the protectorate of Penny’s petticoat. Yes, that one. she is back! No, not yet. Only in the news. still, we must be afraid. after contemplating quietly, consulting the ancestors and some long chats to people more qualified or knowledgeable than herself the rogue magistrate decided to appeal her acrimonious dismissal.Former Justice Minister Pendukeni Iivula-Ithana had to dismiss shaanika from her position as magistrate in June, after a legal battle between her and the Magistrates’ Commission about the commission’s instruction that shaanika should get the boot. Did I say we must be afraid.Never failing to bring us world class drama the NBC found itself in the news again. surprise, surprise! NBC wants more money… from you. On top of its more or less N$100 million the corporation gets from the taxpayer annually and so enthusiastically pisses away, Joel Kaapanda played sugar daddy once more with a lovely N$500 million for its digitisation programme. Nice! so, what are we getting for all this money the guys at NBC spend on us. Not much, I hear. a little plastic box which you could acquire for between N$100 and N$500 only. It gives you the splendid privilege to watch ‘Parliamentary Report’ the whole day. that licence fee of over N$200 doesn’t look like nothing to me any more. Not for the quality we get from these jokers. and don’t give me that crap of, ‘you’re not paying for the crap you watch, you pay because you have a TV.’ Give me any good, sober judge who would rule in favour of government or NBC, when someone with balls challenge that crap in a court, and I’ll show you a drunken lunatic.What NBC should do is just film whatever is going on at the corporation and sell it to us as a reality tV programme. It would be much more entertaining than what we get at the moment.But the depths of NBC’s continued and collective discombobulation washed away this week when the national cultural festival rolled into town. It was so poorly organised and executed it made the NAMAs judging process look like a German engineering operation.It was so deurmekaar it made the contents of a saturday morning babelaas vomit look like fine art. how can you hold something for 18 years and still not get invitations, transport, accommodation and marketing right? how? We are slowly turning incompetence into a unique Namibian cultural phenomenon.Funny thing is, we will have the same amount of material to shake our heads at again next week. I give up! and we go through all of this just to all die en masse next Friday. Nee man!
If you have an email address or telephone number of Chuck Norris please pass it on. I’m desperate need smash someone’s front teeth in!
– rambler@namibian.com.na
