How Porn is Ruining Your Sex Life

Many studies have shown that porn consumption is hazardous to your psychological and sexual health. It affects the strength and duration of your erections, weakens your desire to approach real women, creates unrealistic expectations of your current or future sexual partners, damages the intimacy in your relationships, and weakens the sexual attraction you experience for your partners.

In one session of porn consumption, you’re able to view hundreds of sexually available, airbrushed women playing out your every sexual fantasy. Then, when it comes time to being with one static woman in bed, your routinely overstimulated brain experiences difficulty reaching arousal.

Porn addiction is what is known as an ‘arousal addiction’. Instead of wanting more of the same of something (like drug addiction), you crave more varied stimulation. You are ultimately trapping yourself in an endless spiral of insatiability. Your brain cannot allow you to experience sexual satisfaction with your partner simply because it doesn’t offer enough variety. Bottom line, porn is poisoning your sex life.

(Side note: Evolution has not hardwired our brains to comprehend the false reality of pornography – click a button and POOF! a sexual partner appears instantly. Hundreds of years ago, if you wanted to see a naked woman, you had to become socially capable and attractive enough to earn it. An unfortunate secondary symptom to porn consumption is that you have yet another reason to NOT approach women in real life. Why say ‘hi’ to that cute brunette walking down the street if you can just find a thousand naked women who look just like her on your favourite website?)

So what steps can you take to lessen your porn load? Here are three tips on how to cut back and eventually eliminate your porn consumption, escalating from the easiest to adopt to the hardest.

This is a lesser of two evils when compared to overconsumption. Instead of randomly clicking through hundreds of different porn stars, you are conditioning your brain to respond to one individual actress. By limiting your consumption in this way, you reduce the likelihood of being over-stimulated by mass variety.

Presumably, this performer will have the body type that you are generally attracted to. If you are currently in a relationship, choose an actress who most closely resembles your partner. By choosing the single actress you will view based on your type, you are also conditioning your brain to respond well to the woman you will be sleeping with in real life. This step allows you to more easily transition from pornography to the real thing.

Reduce your normal porn consumption. Cut down to viewing porn only once or twice a week. Set a timer for 10 to 20 minutes to avoid binging during your sessions. Schedule it, if you need to, but set a hard boundary. Make it non-negotiable and stick to your limit.

The most effective way to eliminate porn use is the 90 Day Experiment. Go cold turkey and do not watch porn for 90 days. Get a friend to hold you accountable if necessary.

There is one exception recommended regarding porn use. If you find that you really want some visual stimulation to get your mind going when masturbating, make and use porn of your partner.

Bring it up honestly. Tell your partner that you read that porn was bad for your sexual health, and, while you aren’t a heavy user by any means, you would like to cut it from your life entirely. Explain that you would love if it you had material of her to masturbate to whenever you are apart (like when either of you are travelling). Letting your partner know that you are choosing to masturbate solely to material of her is a way to express how desirable you find her.

You get better at whatever you are doing in any moment. So by training your brain to masturbate to your partner, you continually increase your sexual attraction to her.

• More control over orgasms.

• Increased sex drive.

• Greater overall sex drive from a balanced place.

• Stronger and longer lasting erections.

• Increased sexual attraction to partners.

• More gratitude for sexual partners

• More mental and emotional presence with women.

• Less judgment of ‘real’ women’s bodies.

Porn is not inherently evil. It has its place in the world and is an interesting cultural barometer for what people are into sexually (especially the things that people don’t openly admit to).

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