Godspeed, Valentines

Whether you’re reading this on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, you may have some feelings about Valentine’s Day.

If it’s Friday, the day is ahead of you. The money bouquets have been effectively prohibited, but the red roses may yet come. A reservation at that restaurant named for the rise and fall of sea levels may be secure and the day could still exceed all delulu expectation.

Should it already be Saturday, the pink and red celebration is upon us. Unlike recent Valentine’s Days past, in which the work day had mercy on one’s wallet, the empty stretch of the weekend suggests there is ample time to dazzle or to disappoint.

For those in real or imagined relationships, the pressure is on.

The day is long. There are no breaks, escapes or emergency meetings. There is simply you and what you’ve come up with to show the love of your life that you care.

Advocate of world peace that I am, earlier in this edition I offer some tips for the flailing in a piece titled ‘Five Easy Valentine’s Day Dates’.

I propose pasta, paint and sips, art galleries, mixtapes, rest and relaxation, and I hope these things will save a Valentine’s Day or two.

But if we’re being real, it’s the thought that counts. And hopefully that last-minute thought doesn’t come from a random woman rambling in the newspaper. If it does, Godspeed. The High Court of Namibia recently recorded 111 divorces in one day and I’m sure you’ll be just fine.

Now, if it’s Sunday you’re either on cloud nine or deep in the doldrums of what you now know is a situationship.

For those who’ve found and worked at love and continue to be a shining example to us all, hats off to you. May the spirit of divorce and dating apps never find you.

As for the folks who had some hope and were let down, I see you.

Valentine’s Day can be tricky, whether you’re single, partnered or unsure of where you and the person you’re interested in truly stand. It can be surprising, disappointing and revealing, but the good thing is that it’s just one day.

Yes, it’s a day full of grand gestures, sweet social media updates as well as aspirational couple content, and hoping for that is valid. But what you get or don’t get for Valentine’s Day is not a measure of your worth and it provides no indication of who or what’s to come.

People laugh and can be derisive when you say this but, if you don’t have a Valentine, use the day or the day after to practise self-love. If you waited by the phone all day yesterday, get up and do something you love, eat something delicious or call someone who makes you laugh.

You are your greatest love.

The relationship you have with yourself is one of the most sacred, so be kind to yourself, especially on the days you need it most.

When love comes, and it is everything you ever wanted, may it meet you whole, sure of your worth and waiting.

– martha@namibian.com.na; Martha Mukaiwa on Twitter and Instagram; marthamukaiwa.com

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