Four tales of courage shine light in the gloom

FOUR women living with HIV-AIDS – all members of the Tuyakula Self-help Group – tell their stories.

* INGRID (32) found out about her HIV status in 2001. She is the mother of two sons, the elder of whom is a healthy nine-year-old.But her seven-month-old baby boy is also infected.Her family know her status and has accepted it.At first it was difficult for them but then she pointed out that she is much healthier than her uncle who has cancer and her mother who is suffering from asthma and obesity.Ingrid is not taking anti-retroviral drugs yet but hopes to start a course of them, supplied by the Ministry of Health and Social Services, next week.When she first found out she was HIV-positive, her boyfriend left her and she lost her job.She was very lonely and saw no future until she joined Tuyakula where all the women have the same problems and can support one another.When she is nauseated or depressed they understand because they go through the same things every day.She is the group’s head gardener.Ingrid’s message: “A person living with HIV has to always think positive, and only then can we make a difference”.* REINHILDE (31) has a healthy boy aged seven.But she became infected in 2000 during pregnancy, and her three-year-old son is now infected also.Among her family, only her husband knows her status and he does not want his friends to find out so she is not allowed to go public.The husband works, says Reinhilde, but does not look after the family as he drinks his wage away.She is very weak and used to train the other woman in bead work but now she cannot stand or work for long periods.Reinhilde’s messages: “Please help us so that we can become financially independent and can buy food for our children”. “We are not helpless, we can do things for ourselves”.* ELISABETH (38) has five children ranging in age from five to 22.The youngest boy is infected.She was a babysitter and the family whose child she was looking after asked her to go for the test in 1999.She then found out she was positive but has told no one outside the group of her status because she sees what happened to other women in the group.They got chased out of their houses.Elisabeth is scared that her infected son will be maltreated and not allowed to play with other children.She is not on drugs because she is very afraid of them: someone on drugs told her that if you drink or smoke while taking anti-retroviral drugs you will die the next day (which is not true).Elisabeth’s message: “Men don’t want to work, they just want to spread the virus”.* MARIA (32) became infected in 2000 and has a healthy year-old boy.When she first became ill, her boyfriend chased her away.She left and went back to Ovamboland where her mother and sister also chased her away.She then moved in with her grandmother before returning to Windhoek where she received counselling from Catholic AIDS Action.She then joined the group and has now found new friends who accept her with her illness.She still has no contact with her family, although her sister looks after her son.Maria is now searching for a place of her own so that her son can come and live with her and go to school in Windhoek.Maria’s message: “I lost everything but now I have friends and can think of my and my son’s future,” All these women are part of the Tuyakula group, which means: “Help us help ourselves”.The group has 63 members of whom only one is a man.All the members are infected with HIV-AIDS.The group is divided into three sections: one is a support group where members can share their problems and talk to people who understand them.The second is a gardening project where various vegetables, tended by the members themselves, The vegetables are cooked at the house and healthy meals are provided for the members and their children.Surplus vegetables are sold to raise extra income.In the third section, women fashion crafts from leather and do beadwork, which is sold at Penduka or at their house in Wanaheda.Tuyakula gives these members not only the strength born of camaraderie but also dignity and the recognition that they are needed and useful citizens.She is the mother of two sons, the elder of whom is a healthy nine-year-old. But her seven-month-old baby boy is also infected. Her family know her status and has accepted it. At first it was difficult for them but then she pointed out that she is much healthier than her uncle who has cancer and her mother who is suffering from asthma and obesity. Ingrid is not taking anti-retroviral drugs yet but hopes to start a course of them, supplied by the Ministry of Health and Social Services, next week. When she first found out she was HIV-positive, her boyfriend left her and she lost her job. She was very lonely and saw no future until she joined Tuyakula where all the women have the same problems and can support one another. When she is nauseated or depressed they understand because they go through the same things every day. She is the group’s head gardener. Ingrid’s message: “A person living with HIV has to always think positive, and only then can we make a difference”.* REINHILDE (31) has a healthy boy aged seven. But she became infected in 2000 during pregnancy, and her three-year-old son is now infected also. Among her family, only her husband knows her status and he does not want his friends to find out so she is not allowed to go public. The husband works, says Reinhilde, but does not look after the family as he drinks his wage away. She is very weak and used to train the other woman in bead work but now she cannot stand or work for long periods. Reinhilde’s messages: “Please help us so that we can become financially independent and can buy food for our children”. “We are not helpless, we can do things for ourselves”.* ELISABETH (38) has five children ranging in age from five to 22. The youngest boy is infected. She was a babysitter and the family whose child she was looking after asked her to go for the test in 1999. She then found out she was positive but has told no one outside the group of her status because she sees what happened to other women in the group. They got chased out of their houses. Elisabeth is scared that her infected son will be maltreated and not allowed to play with other children. She is not on drugs because she is very afraid of them: someone on drugs told her that if you drink or smoke while taking anti-retroviral drugs you will die the next day (which is not true). Elisabeth’s message: “Men don’t want to work, they just want to spread the virus”.* MARIA (32) became infected in 2000 and has a healthy year-old boy. When she first became ill, her boyfriend chased her away. She left and went back to Ovamboland where her mother and sister also chased her away. She then moved in with her grandmother before returning to Windhoek where she received counselling from Catholic AIDS Action. She then joined the group and has now found new friends who accept her with her illness. She still has no contact with her family, although her sister looks after her son. Maria is now searching for a place of her own so that her son can come and live with her and go to school in Windhoek. Maria’s message: “I lost everything but now I have friends and can think of my and my son’s future,” All these women are part of the Tuyakula group, which means: “Help us help ourselves”. The group has 63 members of whom only one is a man. All the members are infected with HIV-AIDS. The group is divided into three sections: one is a support group where members can share their problems and talk to people who understand them. The second is a gardening project where various vegetables, tended by the members themselves, The vegetables are cooked at the house and healthy meals are provided for the members and their children. Surplus vegetables are sold to raise extra income. In the third section, women fashion crafts from leather and do beadwork, which is sold at Penduka or at their house in Wanaheda. Tuyakula gives these members not only the strength born of camaraderie but also dignity and the recognition that they are needed and useful citizens.