Forgiveness

While reading an article on forgiveness in The YouthPaper, I began to reminisce about past events when love replaced hurt, resentment and anger. The good old days. Is forgiveness really as easy as it seems?

Am I regarded as a villain because I am not willing or capable of forgiving? These are the questions that came up upon reading the article.

The two people I looked up to, the people who anyone else would consider role models, pillars of strength and teachers… Those were the people I resented most. But I developed respect towards them because that is the way I was brought up, it was a way of life in my household. And then I remembered the words of our Founding Father: “We shall forgive but never forget.” But that quote alone had not satisfied my desire to change.

Forgiveness is the scariest stage one could or should go through, only because forgiveness requires one to acquire strength, patience, amnesia on the subject at hand and the ability to rekindle relationships. Personally, I would have forgiven these two people a decade ago, but quite frankly, I was never willing to. Their actions had shaped the outcome of my life without them even realising it. If an average human being were to forgive their hurt, anger and resentment towards a certain individual, this would require both parties to be willing to move on. Hate is a strong word and feeling, so if you have ever done anyone wrong and they are currently hurt by it and spend half their lives expecting an apology from you. Just do that because two decades later this individual may develop a tumour of hate towards you on their hearts.

I am taking this day by day, meaning every day I am one step closer to forgiving and forgetting. Forgiveness has so many stages, do not pressurise yourself or be in a hurry to forgive just yet. Forgive not because you are required to, but because you are willing to.

You will never be able to proceed successfully in forgiving someone else if you cannot forgive yourself. Never place blame on yourself because of someone else’s wrong doings. Do not dwell on the past because you will not be able to settle in the future. And remember: Forgiveness is more than just saying you’re sorry!

Leena Pombili Shipwata is 19 years old and enjoys writing and socialising with friends.

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