Dear Good Man

It is such an impressive feeling to hear a woman refer to you as a Good Man. You blush from the beautiful sound of her voice, and it gives you a sense of perfection.

Why wouldn’t you feel this way? You have never raised your hand to hit a woman before nor have you ever made a woman feel unsafe around you since you are so fond of them. But do you believe you deserve the title Good Man at all? I have personally considered myself a Good Man before. I would often cajole a woman who says to me “all men are the same” with flattery and gentleness in an attempt to prove to her that each man is different. However, the recent popularity of violent acts against women has made me question my identity as the so-called Good Man.

Every so often, you yearn for justification for every time a woman utters the line “men are trash”. Nonetheless, what do you expect her to say when you are associated with the deeds of a ‘Bad Man’? You stay quiet and ignorant towards the abuse of women, priding trends of cheating and other negative acts directed to women in society.

For this reason, women would often find themselves in fear and distress over men, including the assumed ‘Good Man’, yet no man reinstalls safety, love and care in them. We turn a blind eye to all the bad things being imposed on women. In a land of women tired of being hurt by the Bad Man, the title ‘men’ depicts nothing but danger, barbarism, savagery and inhumanity to her as she can no longer distinguish your character from that of a Bad Man.

Remember that the Bad Man started off as a Good Man and perhaps this is why she keeps saying “men are trash”.

She has been induced to the fact that all men start off with tenderness and later transform into monsters. It is based on the above that she is scared of her husband, boyfriend, lover or an uncle as she believes someone she knows is most likely to hurt her.

You should not blame her if she worries about the well-being and safety of her daughter under your watch, for the Bad Man has done the worse to her fellows’ daughters, thus scrutinising you as a man.

As a result, a Good Man needs to assure and prove to her the safety and protection she deserves and recognise her worth as a woman to this world, so that you are able to fulfil what God has purported you to be towards a woman.

In addition, you need to learn to walk away from a relationship that no longer has a similar love flame as in its prime without disrespecting her and hurting any part or inch of her skin. My brother, until you mount yourself as such, you will never fulfil the title Good Man to its potential, but you will forever proliferate the line ‘Man Are Trash’.

Nehemia Salomon is an industrial relations officer who wants to share some words

of wisdom with boys and men.

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.