Confessions of a Kasi Casanova … Side Chick Application Accepted

If there are people I respect in the kasi, these are side chicks. I do not know who came up with the name but I would probably call them Relationship Escorts. Because all they do is help you become better and get you to greener pastures.

I respect those who enter relationships knowing very well that they are in for that very position. They commit to be there, give it when the main madam bounces and keep all bedroom issues to the very same place it happens. Be it in the toilet, in a car under a bridge or at some guest house.

I love side chicks because they are there when your main relationship goes through some sweeping heavy rains and the road gets potholes. They will be there to put some love in those holes. What makes it even more interesting is that they are not hoping to take the main position, but simply do what the arrogant main madam refuses to do.

Admit it, guys. There are days when boss madam does not want to bend to your tune. Worries aside, the side chick has no lines. We all have one or two who just bring the world and its’ riches.

What however disappoints me is the high level of ignorance that comes with some of my sisters who sign the side chick contract without thoroughly reading all clauses. You people do not like reading, mos. And you later wonder why your relationship is not progressing.

Let’s explore some scenarios.

Believe me, not so many guys will tell you from the start that they have a madam boss. Forget it! Innocently with a saint’s voice, he will say that he has been single for five months because he has failed to find the right woman. Just what you want to hear. Believe his stiff lies and your application to become a side chick is accepted.

By now, you know that guys like myself do not have that extra sense. It is for that reason that we are not so good at handling multiple relationships.

The moment you are restricted to keep your relationship to the phone and room, you are also the side chick. Side chicks are bedroom material. He will tell you that he does not like his life known by the birds and your relationship should remain a secret. That may sound cool but well done for giving in your signature.

If you do not feature anywhere in his social life, except the invitations to the club or planned dinners at restaurants he has never been to, then you are probably one. If he has no photos of you on his Facebook account nor of any woman, then you should equally be advised that there are plenty not recognised. In addition, he is ‘In A Relationship’ on Facebook for years. That status is never changed. Welcome to being his Relationship Escort.

To keep her around even longer thinking she’s madam boss, I will shower her with gifts. We know women love nice things. Especially things they cannot afford themselves. The Brazilian hair, Sissy Boy jeans and the ciders. All needs catered for. This is commitment to keep your mouth shut for as long as you are on the side. Bring that signature already.

Because madam boss is such a bubble gum and plays detective at all times, our communication is restricted to me calling you. You shall not text nor call me. I will get hold of you when I need you. You are however allowed to communicate with me when it’s urgent. I know some of you only text your guys at times when he claims not to be busy. This is to avoid ruining his good lovemaking sessions with madam boss.

I know sex is supposed to be a pleasurable event but there is a difference in the style and manner it is done depending on the host holding the mic. With the main chick, he makes love to her. The side chick is f*cked. Same difference but the manner distinguishes the two. If you are the other party, your application was approved months ago so enjoy the benefits.

Players like myself do not give side chicks some funny names. Home Affairs does that for us. Your name will appear in my phone the very same way it does on your full birth certificate. Name and surname. It avoids suspicion.

Lastly, I wanna share a secret with my sisters. There are times guys see this sexy woman who does not facially compliment her body. To them we say “she is so fine but I wish I could place Maria’s head on her body”. Such end up signing the side chick application too.

I do not know which you are, but I wish you all the luck and strength in the kasi as you escort your current boyfriend to greener pastures. Just so you know, your application was successful.

Bitter love from the Kasi Casanova

– kasiconfessions@gmail.com; @KasiConfessions on Twitter; Kasi Casanova on Facebook

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