Big Brother Amplified: Luclay Throws A Mantrum!

IF Luclay is still in the Big Brother Amplified house when you read this, it means the South African housemate has wimped out – AGAIN!

And I’m not talking about him getting all wee-weed up after Sunday night’s evictions.In the wake of Saturday night’s party in Tails, Lu-Cry essentially declared his love for Weza. He told her that ‘the biggest player on this planet has fallen in love’, and tried to emotionally squeeze her to return his feelings.Y’know, I have feelings for you, so you must have feelings for me. Believe it! And who knows whether he even means it, or not. I mean. Luclay is the ultimate reality show prostitute – seems he’ll do anything and everything for money, or for an ‘I’m-the-man’, ego fix.Anyway, Weza gently reminded him that he has a girlfriend. Eish, seems it’s a case of girlfriend be damned. ‘It’s about how I feel about it,’ Lu-Cry told her.The blue boxers boy then declared that he if didn’t go home tomorrow (Sunday), I’ll go on Monday (yesterday). Definitely. No two ways about it, he said over and over.There was no going back, he said. If he stayed ‘every day I’ll be dying’.And, of course, he shed his trademark tears, crocodile or otherwise.As most BBA fans should know by now, Luclay talks the talk, but comes up short – in more ways than one – when it comes to walking the walk.He’s threatened to leave on other occasions – if Biggie didn’t transfer him to the Heads house, for one – but has always wimped out when the time to man up arrives. S’true.As for his screaming banshee-on-crack outburst after Sunday night’s evictions, sjoe. Ugly doesn’t begin to describe it.Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first person to enjoy some drama, but when so-called drama becomes abusive, it’s a whole other story.Talk about pretty boy gone ugly. It was like the dude had taken an ego laxative. Or had an acute case of blue balls. Take your pick.He ranted, he raved; he preened and Charlie Sheen-ed; he hauled off his shirt, banged his breast and warned whoever cared to listen that they would have to deal with this – his bare breast – if they messed with him.Oooooooooh, I’m so shivering in a corner.The funniest thing was him trying to stand on tip toe and look taller, as he pranced around doing his man-in-the mirror, I’m so great, you’re all a load of shyte thing.Who the hell does he think he is? As far as I know, the United Nations didn’t declare him the sole and authentic reality show contestant.There was no stopping the ego diarrhoea. He, yes he Luclay, is a giant amongst men, a giant in Africa, a giant in the house; he fears nothing; he has heart – yeah Luclay, is it imprinted on your blue boxers, or what?; Africa loves me, Africa loves this sh*t (his terrible two tantrums); I’m pretty … and ’70 per cent women’ watch this show; that’s the beauty about me, I know people; I’m not a pussy – can you please repeat that, Lu-Cry?; I ain’t no fake ass – eish, you sure have a big enough one; I’m harder than a rock – yaaaaaaaawn! I’m a winner as it is – #fail.On and on he went, before morphing into tinpot dictator mode.Africa had saved him – I think it was two countries, Luclay?!; it was a mandate to continue with his mission of purging all the fakes and hibernators.He’s going to take people out, one by one, ‘you know who you are … and I’m going to expose you’ – errrrrrrr, how about starting with yourself Luclay?Eish. At some point Zambia’s Mumba muttered ‘aha’. Oh boy. Luclay 101: you do not mess, I repeat do not mess, with the ‘chosen one’; you do so at your own peril.Face me, he shouted at Mumba, face me.And boy did she! She couldn’t have got closer to him than if they were sharing a French kiss.It clearly unsettled him and he started retreating, still shouting ‘face me, face me’.’I am,’ said Mumba, refusing to budge an inch.Poor, poor Luclay. Seems when his bluff is called, it’s a case of run to Mama. ‘Do you know who the f*%k I am,’ he sneered. I’m gonna tell Biggie on you, he warned Mumba.’I can go to Biggie now and tell him you insulted me.’ Sighhhhhhhhh …’You’re invading my space, you touched me,’ he ranted. Huh?!!As if that wasn’t enough, he resorted to telling the Zambian that if she dared f*#k with him again and answer back, he’d happily punch her. Aikona! Who would have thunk that Mumba would draw a line and call Luclay’s huff and bluff. After she faced him down, he chose to rant at the mirror …The girl deserves a medal.Had to laugh at Weza, who dryly commented that ‘it seems like friendship week is over’!The Angolan earlier tried to intervene and calm the situation but to no avail.Don’t know if Luc-Cry went to cry on Biggie’s shoulder later. Wonder if we’ll ever know.Hope at least that the Big-E changed the South African’s nappy.More anon. Stay Tuned!* BBA is broadcast live 24/7 on DStv Channel 198.

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