Big Brother Africa: The incredible hulk or the incredible sulk?

GIRLS of the Penthouse Mansion.

Fear Factor. Lost.E.R.The Weakest Link.Yip.Big Brother is turning into the brother of all reality shows.Well most of the time.If we ever needed reminding what the house would be like without Rato and Meryl, Wednesday night was it.The house was as lively as a tea party at an old age home, and as interesting as emptying a cat litter box.What’s to watch in a house littered with more lifeless bodies than the mortuary at Gobabis? I tuned out and switched to BBC to watch ‘Waking The Dead’.The two girls had gone off to spend a night in a penthouse courtesy of Meryl winning the head of household challenge.But more on that later.Big drama yesterday.Zimbo Bertha apparently got herself in a twist while doing the net-climbing segment of Biggie’s latest reality odyssey, a Fear Factor-type obstacle course, which had even Lerato in tears.The net result was that Bertha ended up being rushed off to the nearest E.R.for a check-up.Now seems her leg might have to be in a cast for three weeks.How this will play out in the house, and how it will play with viewers remains to be seen.LET’S VENT I have to vent, just a little.I mean, what’s up with this whole apology thing around the Justice-Meryl bottle interlude.Why should Meryl be doing all the apologising? It’s unjustified.I say justice for Meryl! The okaperson is an emotional bully.Not only that, he owes viewers an apology.People in their droves switched channels at the weekend as Justice sulked up the house, and turned off BBA fans.If he wants a role in ‘The Unforgiven’, then he should just head for the hills.Full stop.And he can take his Venter trailer with him.I have nothing against short people, but small-spirited people …Eish.The odd viewer, or two, it seems, finds Justice’s sulks entertaining.Must be those who haven’t yet got over their ‘terrible two’ tantrums stage.I find his antics offensive, lower than a snake’s tail in a donkey cart rut.Nothing personal, Justo.Downtrodden you ain’t.Downsullen you are! Meryl’s no saint! No kidding.Sure, she can be a bit loud at times – though, not it seems, loud enough for Mercy at Oshakati (we saw your SMS message, girl).Sure, Meryl can be brash, but at least she’s not as irritating as a rash.And yes, she occasionally lets fly with a statement from left field.But our girl’s pretty upfront and natural.And hell, she’s got a heart.MAMBA NO 5 Cody, ody.What a confused puppy.He flirts outrageously, and passes it off as the women coming on to him.But, damn.He just ain’t interested.Oh yeah? One, two, three, four, five …Code’s giving new meaning to Lou Bega’s ‘Mambo No 5’.A little bit of Tatiana on the side, a little bit of Maureen in my life, a little bit Bertha’s all I need.Yeaaaah, dawg.I’ve got it down pat.But, you can’t run and you can’t hide …Oh, Cody.Love you one day.Curse you the next.This man’s not from Mars, or from Venus! But we think we’re getting your number.Still can’t get over him nominating Maureen for eviction.That’s cold, bro.PENTHOUSE Meryl chose Lerato to spend the night with her at the penthouse – to the disappointment of more than a few viewers.They wanted her to take Kwaku.Our girl was in a no-win situation.If she’d taken Kwaku, she would have been labelled “a disgrace to African women”.She did the girlfriend thing only to be accused of denying viewers “prime entertainment”.Anyhow, the girls were blown away! They kicked back, gossiped about their men – Lerato’s beginning to doubt whether Maxwell really does have a girlfriend back home, had a lazy bath, danced to great beats provided by Biggie, drank and feasted.But they didn’t forget the guys, packing goodies to take back for K and the Max.Back at the house, it was a different story.It was as flat as a punctured tyre.Justice seemed lost, simpering around rather like a mope on a rope with nowhere to swing; Richard’s dreadlocks drooped; Kwaku lingered around barely communicating with anyone; Ofunneka and Bertha knitted in silence; Code tried to strum up a song, but it fell flat.Tatiana and Maxwell did their bit to try and infuse some life into the house, but that too fizzled out – more quickly than it started.Lights out, curtains down, early to bed.All the shine was in the penthouse.SMACKDOWN TIME So who will be leaving the house on Sunday, Justice or Jeff? Could be pretty tight.Neither have emerged as main men in the entertainment stakes.But the last few days Jeff’s started profiling.Poor guy, he doesn’t know he’s up for eviction.But the team tasks have turned him into something of a performer.And aren’t the girls loving it! And who will forget him staring down Kwaku, making him eat his words in the tug-of-war challenge.And then there are those crazy morning-show exercises.Justice? Have a feeling we’ve seen all he has to offer.The incredible hulk, or the incredible sulk? It’s up to you!Lost.E.R.The Weakest Link.Yip.Big Brother is turning into the brother of all reality shows.Well most of the time.If we ever needed reminding what the house would be like without Rato and Meryl, Wednesday night was it.The house was as lively as a tea party at an old age home, and as interesting as emptying a cat litter box.What’s to watch in a house littered with more lifeless bodies than the mortuary at Gobabis? I tuned out and switched to BBC to watch ‘Waking The Dead’.The two girls had gone off to spend a night in a penthouse courtesy of Meryl winning the head of household challenge.But more on that later.Big drama yesterday.Zimbo Bertha apparently got herself in a twist while doing the net-climbing segment of Biggie’s latest reality odyssey, a Fear Factor-type obstacle course, which had even Lerato in tears.The net result was that Bertha ended up being rushed off to the nearest E.R.for a check-up.Now seems her leg might have to be in a cast for three weeks.How this will play out in the house, and how it will play with viewers remains to be seen.LET’S VENT I have to vent, just a little.I mean, what’s up with this whole apology thing around the Justice-Meryl bottle interlude.Why should Meryl be doing all the apologising? It’s unjustified.I say justice for Meryl! The okaperson is an emotional bully.Not only that, he owes viewers an apology.People in their droves switched channels at the weekend as Justice sulked up the house, and turned off BBA fans.If he wants a role in ‘The Unforgiven’, then he should just head for the hills.Full stop.And he can take his Venter trailer with him.I have nothing against short people, but small-spirited people …Eish.The odd viewer, or two, it seems, finds Justice’s sulks entertaining.Must be those who haven’t yet got over their ‘terrible two’ tantrums stage.I find his antics offensive, lower than a snake’s tail in a donkey cart rut.Nothing personal, Justo.Downtrodden you ain’t.Downsullen you are! Meryl’s no saint! No kidding.Sure, she can be a bit loud at times – though, not it seems, loud enough for Mercy at Oshakati (we saw your SMS message, girl).Sure, Meryl can be brash, but at least she’s not as irritating as a rash.And yes, she occasionally lets fly with a statement from left field.But our girl’s pretty upfront and natural.And hell, she’s got a heart.MAMBA NO 5 Cody, ody.What a confused puppy.He flirts outrageously, and passes it off as the women coming on to him.But, damn.He just ain’t interested.Oh yeah? One, two, three, four, five …Code’s giving new meaning to Lou Bega’s ‘Mambo No 5’.A little bit of Tatiana on the side, a little bit of Maureen in my life, a little bit Bertha’s all I need.Yeaaaah, dawg.I’ve got it down pat.But, you can’t run and you can’t hide …Oh, Cody.Love you one day.Curse you the next.This man’s not from Mars, or from Venus! But we think we’re getting your number.Still can’t get over him nominating Maureen for eviction.That’s cold, bro.PENTHOUSE Meryl chose Lerato to spend the night with her at the penthouse – to the disappointment of more than a few viewers.They wanted her to take Kwaku.Our girl was in a no-win situation.If she’d taken Kwaku, she would have been labelled “a disgrace to African women”.She did the girlfriend thing only to be accused of denying viewers “prime entertainment”.Anyhow, the girls were blown away! They kicked back, gossiped about their men – Lerato’s beginning to doubt whether Maxwell really does have a girlfriend back home, had a lazy bath, danced to great beats provided by Biggie, drank and feasted.But they didn’t forget the guys, packing goodies to take back for K and the Max.Back at the house, it was a different story.It was as flat as a punctured tyre.Justice seemed lost, simpering around rather like a mope on a rope with nowhere to swing; Richard’s dreadlocks drooped; Kwaku lingered around barely communicating with anyone; Ofunneka and Bertha knitted in silence; Code tried to strum up a song, but it fell flat.Tatiana and Maxwell did their bit to try and infuse some life into the house, but that too fizzled out – more quickly than it started.Lights out, curtains down, early to bed.All the shine was in the penthouse.SMACKDOWN TIME So who will be leaving the house on Sunday, Justice or Jeff? Could be pretty tight.Neither have emerged as main men in the entertainment stakes.But the last few days Jeff’s started profiling.Poor guy, he doesn’t know he’s up for eviction.But the team tasks have turned him into something of a performer.And aren’t the girls loving it! And who will forget him staring down Kwaku, making him eat his words in the tug-of-war challenge.And then there are those crazy morning-show exercises.Justice? Have a feeling we’ve seen all he has to offer.The incredible hulk, or the incredible sulk? It’s up to you!