Big Brother Africa: Sex, Lies and Videotapes!

DON’T know about you, but when I was growing part of my Mum’s mantra in trying to instil a sense of propriety in us was to caution us to always wear clean underwear ‘in case you’re in an accident’.

Another was don’t forget that everything you do here on Earth will be replayed on the big plasma screen in the sky. Yip, the entire firmament will have a front-row seat as someone up there presses replay on the PVR and all your mortal doings and undoings are screened in high definition. Ouch.Well, my Mum was right! It happened to some of the Big Brother housemates on Friday.OK, not the clean underwear bit … but how’s that anyway? You’re in an accident, doesn’t matter if you’ve broken your leg, fractured your skull or your arm is hanging precariously by a ligament, as long as you’re wearing clean underwear your parents, and the world I suppose, can rest easy!! I mean, maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get a bit part in ”ER’ or ‘House’!SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPESAnnnnnyhow … back to matters of Heaven and Earth, or perhaps more aptly, the sins … eish, I mean the life and times of the barnmates.Maybe Biggie is a mother and feels some housemates did not listen up well enough when their mums spoke to them, or maybe she’s reading ‘Pilgrim’s Progress’, or dayum, maybe she was just plain mischievous!Could be, of course, that she’s a fan of the movie ‘Sex, Lies and Videotapes’.During the course of Friday, Biggie started screening revealing clips of incidents in The Barn on the TV in the house – from Sheila and Tati’s liaisons with the now disqualified Hannington to the barnie with Lerato, which led to his premature departure, and the reaction of barnmates to the Meryl-Mwisho (Merylisho) engagement.Aikona, Madonna! The hoarse whisperer, aka Lerato, pulled up her hoodie and hoarsed out.The non-barnated guys were all carbonated eyes, and when it came to the Hanni moments, Sheila rode her blush all the way to Nairobi.Uti was the first to raise questions about the Hanni-Le-assaulto moment. ‘But there was no punch’ … and ‘where’s the blood’, he asked. Sheila was out of the blocks faster than Usain Bolt. What Biggie showed had to be an ‘edited’ version, she said. Yes, yes Sheila and I’m the tooth fairy!Guess she’d parked her blush somewhere by then.When it came to Merylisho’s engagement, Biggie, for whatever reason, chose not to show the broomstick-on-steroids comments by all members of the Byatches of Beastwick coven Mainly those of Sheila, who said she’d ‘explain’ to Mwisho later.Eat your heart out, Horatio Caine. When it comes to the post-mortem on The Barn, there should be more than enough forensic moments to script a few episodes of ‘CSI Miami’.TATI STRIPS, KAONE TRIPS
Tati. Tatiana. Flirtyana. There was only one star in the All Stars house this weekend. Yip, the titillating Tatiana!K1 did irritable bowel syndrome, Munya did angst, Uti did ad argumentum, Lerato did Dr Phil. But Tati was in a league of her own.The Angolan flauntress lap danced, dispensed massages, salsa-ed up sauciness on the dance floor and … ta-ra ta-ra, stripped. S’true. OK, partially.What’s a swimming pool for if not skinny dipping! Flirtyana flung off her top and invited housemates to join her, which Ka-zero did – quite by accident.Rural shag, overcome by the near-nekked vision in front of him, tripped over the smile in his pants and fell into the pool – shoes, microphone and all! Ka-splash! Ka-aina!! You can check it out at: http://bigbrotherafrica.dstv.com/video/play.aspx?vid=7625What can I say except that the one-woman show that is Tati is more than comfortable in her own skin, if not her thong.And the energy! Earlier, she’d taken it upon herself to show Uti and Kaone how to get their raunch on when dancing, gave Uti a quick lap dance and gyrated up close and personal with Mwisho. OK BBA nation, let me trip out of here. By the time you read this you’ll know whether we’ve said ta-ta to Tati or ka-bye to Ka-zero. Or if either of the two managed to defy the frenzied fan bases of Uti and Munya.Can’t leave though without sharing a cute quote from the weekend. Tati on her culinary preferences: ‘I don’t eat junkie food, I have to go to a restaurant.’Stay tuned …- Keep watching all the Big Brother action go down 24/7 on DStv Channel 198. Also catch the daily highlights shows on M-Net Africa, Channel 102 daily at 18h30.

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.

The Namibian uses AI tools to assist with improved quality, accuracy and efficiency, while maintaining editorial oversight and journalistic integrity.