Big Brother Africa 5: Things that go bump in the night!

MUNYA told BBA fans to take a flying leap off Victoria Falls, Kaone took a flying leap onto Mwisho and Yacob and Sheila flew at one another.
OK, OK, it’s Sunday and I need to be truthful.

Yes, I know Munya didn’t tell ‘fickle’ BBA fans to bungee jump without a rope, he used another *f* word. But yip, it’s Sunday, and I think you get the message. Be that as it may … it was one pumpkin of a weekend in the BBA house. But that’s another story.And eeeeeuw, don’t know about you but I learned something new this weekend, and it really wasn’t one of those ‘need-to-know’ things.Those of you familiar with BBA2 and Richard will know the word gazunga. Seems the opposite of gazunga is totolozi. Guys and size, and all that!Anyhow, the long and short of it is that Munya was feeling neglected by Tatiana and confronted her on Saturday night. The interchange got heated and Tati more or less told him he wasn’t equipped to play in ‘the big league’! That he had a totolozi. Ouch!!Not to be outdone, Munya tried to get his own back by inferring that the Angolan bombshell had a ‘trench’ (in the nether regions) fit for guided tours. Oops!!Possibly realising he might have queered his turf, Zim dude switched tactics. And it was while trying to drum up sincerity that he let rip at fans, who he also accused of ‘not being there for me’ during BBA3. After Saturday’s outburst I’m not sure the fans are going to be there for him this time either.Munya, oh Munya! And this from the dude who seems to have worked on getting his Honours in smooth; the one who comes up with lines like ‘women are my Kryptonite’ (I mean, does he buy his come-ons in bulk from a wholesaler!).Fuelled by the vibe of DJ Mo Flava’s disc spinning on Saturday night and uhmmmmmm …. ‘truth serum’ – yeah, the alcohol kicked in … the housemates carried on like goats on steroids.Forget the running of the bulls at Pamplona, this was the unleashing of the hormones! From the bits I caught a glimpse of anyway.GRASSEDCompeting with Munya for headline space was Kaone, K-1 or Kay-One to his fans. Tanzanian hunk Mwisho was all over the place and at one stage ended up lying on his back on the grass, spaced out and dancing with imaginary friends. Guess you could call it dancing on the ground. Maybe he just needed to feel the ground. Heck, I don’t know.Anyway, a hot, steamy kiss with our girl Meryl ensued … And while the two were in the middle of being landlocked and liplocked, Kaone, moving with the speed of someone being pursued by a tokoloshe, inserted himself into the equation.Forget Meryl. The man dubbed ‘rural swagger’, by fans and himself, dispensed the swagger for Mwisho only, with some pelvic grinding of note. It was too much for Uti, who fled inside shouting ‘no man, no man’!Who knows what was going on in Kaone’s head, if anything; maybe it was a case of mistaken identity, or maybe he was trying to compete with Meryl, or spoil her moment, after the two had a run-in this past week.Whatever it was, it’s got tongues wagging up and down the continent.As if that wasn’t enough, Yakka Yakka, also known as Yacob, assailed Lerato with a kiss, or two, or three … while she was lying on her back, also on the grass.Starting to wonder about that grass.And that’s not all! Not enough time and space for everything today, peeps. Just a couple of other quick vignettes, not to be confused with vinaigrette, though some of the encounters were as tart as vinegar.LIKE FOOD FOR PUMPKINLife turned out to be the pits for Sammi and Paloma, of all people. The two managed to see red over orange,The rapidly expanding Ghanaian did not want a serving of pumpkin.Paloma insisted that he have some. And when I say insisted, I mean insisted. You get my point?!! Sammi surrendered the moment, but refused to secede his stomach.His pumpkin was duly dished up, but he cold shouldered the vegetable, and subsequently Paloma, resulting in a cold war between the housemates.In other breaking news, Yakka also managed to upset Sheila by berating the Kenyan’s tomboyISHness. Eish! And aitog!! Wonder if it isn’t because Sheila earlier turned down the languid Ethiopian’s attempt at a romantic overture.All I can say is that it seems Yakka becomes yucka, or yukky, when he’s downed a few drinks.On a touching note, at some point after the DJ had left, Uti had an emotional moment, seeking solace in the arms of a sympathetic Sheila as he talked about missing his ailing father.Seems from what Sheila told one of the other housemates, Uti’s dad is battling cancer.And, in case you missed it, Hannington, aka Smellie, and now ‘The Scream’, is set to be head of house next week. Housemates had to scream into some scream-o-meter, with the person registering the highest velocity winning HoH.Have no idea who will have made their exit last night – Sammi, Uti and Hannington were in the firing line. This was written in haste, and at short notice, before the eviction show. But today it’s time to nominate again.Stay tuned!•Don’t forget you can watch all the BBA action on DStv channel 198 24/7, as well as daily highlights shows on M-Net and AfricaMagic.

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