Big Brother Africa 4: The day the swag sagged!

EEEEEEEUW! There’s stuff going down in the Big Brother house. Serious stuff!

And I’m not talking about this week’s science project.The cat’s out of the bag, the porridge is on the stove and Kevin’s love won’t go on …Yip peeps, the house is pregnant with surprises – Nkenna’s lost her virginity. Well sort of – and don’t worry, Leo the Nel has not sneaked back into the house to try and broaden his Nigerian experience.First things first, Emm.I.Am has broken her vow of silence – eish, and there I was thinking she was contemplating joining a silent order of nuns.Yip, after nearly two weeks of not speaking to Nkenna, Emm.I.Am, also known as ‘the black cat’, decided to confront ‘the village diva’ about putting her – yes her, Emma – in the eviction mix the same week that Jeremy her beloved and his entourage of muscles were up (you do remember them, right?).What a cheek, if not a cardinal sin. I mean how could Nkenna even think of trying to tamper with a love as great as that shared by Jemma [Jeremy, Emma and Jeremy’s sixpack] in the BBA house. Mean, mean, mean. That’s what it was. Mean.I mean!This from Emm.I.Am, aka Emma the Pout, who masterminded the idea of ‘breaking up’ our twins, Erastus and Eddie.TRUTHINESSBut Jemma? Emma the Pout seethed. She was outraged. She demanded answers. Yes, D.E.M.A.N.D.E.D. Nkenna told her it was a game, so why not! Ouch!!Hey, Emm.I.Am’s OK. She’s pretty, she’s got curve and I’m not one of those who hauls out the duct tape every time she opens her mouth to sing. I actually think she has a nice voice – she just needs some training. But if only Emma wasn’t so gumple-foisted!! Great word isn’t it? (I picked it up in the lost and found section at the Windhoek Police Station!!) It means ‘sulky, out of temper’, or ‘bratty’ and ‘petulant’.But I digress. It seems Jemma and KeLiz [Kevin and Elizabeth] psyched themselves into believing that they were house royalty, untouchables, ‘it’ couples; that somehow being somehow kind of couples bestowed them with immunity from nomination.Talk about the ‘Spite Girls’!! Elizabeth and Emm.I.Am wondered how on earth Mzamo could have survived the week she was up – against Jeremy, nogal.Then they believed Nkenna was a goner the week she was nominated. Elizabeth went.OK, there’s been some truthiness going down in the house. Housemates have had to share three things with one another and the others have had to guess what is true and what is false.It emerged that while 50 Naira (Kevin to you) was unhappy about Elizabeth leaving, he wasn’t in love with her.This from the dude who pursued the Tanzanian as if the Titanic was about to sink and tomorrow was another iceberg! Etsêeeeeeeeeee!!He then topped it by saying he has someone back home. Emma blew her top!Emm.I.Am asked him how he could have kissed Paloma and then tried to seduce Elizabeth 24/7. Just not on, dude.Seems swagger boy morphed into a sagger wagger in the blink of an eyelid. Now he’s just going to have to take the rap. As long as he doesn’t share it with us!While in the Naija zone, Nkenna!! Yip Nkenna lost her virginity earlier this week.And no, no, NO, not everything’s about sex. The ‘village diva’ decided to test her alcohol threshold. Although an occasional drinker, according to her, she’d never got drunk before and wanted to try. Well, I wouldn’t advise her to make a habit of it … Eish, she got bolshie with it … and sick to boot, argued with her closest friends in the house and wouldn’t listen to rhyme or reason.Sound familiar?!Totally unrelated, she had quite an intimate conversation with Itai, aka ItSpy, on Wednesday, and said she’d never been physical with a guy. As she put it, she’s never shared her ‘pot of porridge’.Seems she’s afraid of coming to the boil for the first time with someone she really cares about because she fears getting her heart broken. Aaaaaaaaaaw …On the other hand, she said, casting coy glances at Itai, she wouldn’t mind going for a test drive with someone she likes, but who doesn’t mean that much to her in the greater scheme of things. Hmmmmmmmmm … seems the pot is simmering!LAST HoH TASKOK peeps, it’s a ‘bass-ackwards’ kind of day, so I’m just touching base today. But, but, but … some interesting news just in – today will mark the last day that the Head of House (HoH) task is held!It means today’s HoH task is a key one. The person who wins it will have a direct influence on who will make it to the final three, four or five and be in line for the US$200 000!!* Tune in to DStv Channel 198 to catch the intrigue live 24/7, or watch the highlights show on M-Net Africa (DStv Channel 102) and AfricaMagic (DStv Channel 114). Weekly highlights will also be aired on NBC, every Saturday from 21h00 to 22h15.