Big Brother Africa 3: Who let the rats out?

SJOE BBA pipo! Seems the aftershocks of Lucille’s eviction on Sunday night are still being felt – both inside and outside the house.

The “most dramatic ever” eviction registered a full 10 on the reality Richter scale; it shook the housemates, unleashed Hurricane Uti and Typhoon Mimi, created two new trenches of depression – Munya and Ricco, sandblasted Thami and provoked a storm of emotion across Africa. Hot has left the house! And the Cowardly Dog Water Villain (apologies in advance to dog lovers!), TK the Bulk Hulk, aka the Jersey Jerk – also known as Vinny the Rat – is bleating like a baby with a soiled nappy about the cold front in the house.I mean, what DID he expect? He threw Africa’s sweetheart to the wolves.His excuse was off, his timing was off, he is just off.Full stop! As Hamlet (Shakespeare) said, “The time is out of joint …o cursed spite …”Yeah TK, spite is not might.And spite can rear its head and bite you in the butt.THE BEASTLY & THE BEAUTIFUL And how many people are now realising that the time was “out of joint” for Lucille.Sure there are some hardcore haters out there – y’know, the ones who can’t bear to look beauty in the face.Still, our girl had barely flung her arms around KB outside the house before the regrets started flowing in cyberspace and on the BBA TV text strip.Even the crowd at the “the most talked-about [eviction show] in BBA history”, as a heartbroken blogger called it, seemed lacklustre.Tears were shed across Africa.Believe it! Yeah, it IS a game as Lucille rightly said in her interview in The Namibian yesterday.And yip, someone had to go.Still …y’know, we get attached to people.And to repeat Shakespeare, the time was out of joint.And yeah, BBA viewers voted …But does that mean TK’s not to blame? You bet a rat’s ass he is.Whichever way you swing a rat by its tail, the truth remains that self-proclaimed rapper TK couldn’t take the rap.More than that, he let a woman take the ‘bullet’ for him.He wasn’t man enough to go up against the other guys.When the rubber hit the road, TK took a detour to Coward(ice).On that Uti and I are in agreement.”I think it was very, very cowardly,” Uti told the Big-E during his diary session on Monday morning.”It’s hypocritical.”HIS UNROYAL TAMENESS TK thinks he’s all that, but he ain’t no gangster.Gangsters are down with standing their ground, gangsters are down with taking a bullet.Being gangster is about walking the talk; TK can barely shuffle the waffle.And did you see Vinny the Rat, aka Cowardheart, after the eviction on Sunday night? TK slunk off to the bedroom and cowered in his bed in the dark like a kanalratte (sewer rat).As far as I’m concerned, the sooner we rat-chet up the heat and make rat-atouille of him the better! In the interests of adding to the education value of this column, I’ll end with a quote from Shakespeare for TK: “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.”It’s only a game peeps! * Check the action on DStv channel 198, the daily shows on Channel 102 at 20h00 and e-mail your views to bba@namibian.com.naHot has left the house! And the Cowardly Dog Water Villain (apologies in advance to dog lovers!), TK the Bulk Hulk, aka the Jersey Jerk – also known as Vinny the Rat – is bleating like a baby with a soiled nappy about the cold front in the house.I mean, what DID he expect? He threw Africa’s sweetheart to the wolves.His excuse was off, his timing was off, he is just off.Full stop! As Hamlet (Shakespeare) said, “The time is out of joint …o cursed spite …”Yeah TK, spite is not might.And spite can rear its head and bite you in the butt. THE BEASTLY & THE BEAUTIFUL And how many people are now realising that the time was “out of joint” for Lucille.Sure there are some hardcore haters out there – y’know, the ones who can’t bear to look beauty in the face.Still, our girl had barely flung her arms around KB outside the house before the regrets started flowing in cyberspace and on the BBA TV text strip.Even the crowd at the “the most talked-about [eviction show] in BBA history”, as a heartbroken blogger called it, seemed lacklustre.Tears were shed across Africa.Believe it! Yeah, it IS a game as Lucille rightly said in her interview in The Namibian yesterday.And yip, someone had to go.Still …y’know, we get attached to people.And to repeat Shakespeare, the time was out of joint.And yeah, BBA viewers voted …But does that mean TK’s not to blame? You bet a rat’s ass he is.Whichever way you swing a rat by its tail, the truth remains that self-proclaimed rapper TK couldn’t take the rap.More than that, he let a woman take the ‘bullet’ for him.He wasn’t man enough to go up against the other guys.When the rubber hit the road, TK took a detour to Coward(ice).On that Uti and I are in agreement.”I think it was very, very cowardly,” Uti told the Big-E during his diary session on Monday morning.”It’s hypocritical.”HIS UNROYAL TAMENESS TK thinks he’s all that, but he ain’t no gangster.Gangsters are down with standing their ground, gangsters are down with taking a bullet.Being gangster is about walking the talk; TK can barely shuffle the waffle.And did you see Vinny the Rat, aka Cowardheart, after the eviction on Sunday night? TK slunk off to the bedroom and cowered in his bed in the dark like a kanalratte (sewer rat).As far as I’m concerned, the sooner we rat-chet up the heat and make rat-atouille of him the better! In the interests of adding to the education value of this column, I’ll end with a quote from Shakespeare for TK: “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.”It’s only a game peeps! * Check the action on DStv channel 198, the daily shows on Channel 102 at 20h00 and e-mail your views to bba@namibian.com.na