Before You Share That Sexy Selfie

You know the stomach-turning feeling when you hand someone your phone and they start swiping left?

For many, it’s no secret why that particular feeling of dread arises as most are not too keen on revealing what lies behind their pass codes.

Since the rise of the digital age and social media, body positivity has increased. Seeing nude and semi-nude images on our social media timelines has become more of a norm. Just imagine, a few decades ago, women couldn’t wear their tops off their shoulders or their skirts above their knees.

Twenty-four-year-old Maria Haimbodi* says she’s in love with her body and the shape of it and has no problem taking sexy pictures and looking at herself. “I’m not somebody that believes nudity or taking naked photos should take anything away from who you are as a person. I think we all should be naked all the time,” she says.

Although she doesn’t mind photographing herself, she doesn’t necessarily share those images. “I take them for myself and I don’t send them to anybody. I don’t trust anybody.” She cautions that others are too quick to pass images on and do not care about the consequences for the victims.

“If you really want to see my body, you can see it in person. Although I’m not opposed to my boyfriend taking nudes of me in an artistic type of way.”

Haimbodi says women are most at risk of the dangers of nudes leaked on the internet. “The world is out to get us, they will look for any way to shame us.”

She also mentions that although she doesn’t partake in sharing personal things or prying into other people’s privacy, women who do should be careful at all times.

“If your nudes are leaked, keep your head up, and don’t let the bullies bait you. Luckily in today’s age, people have very short attention spans and things blow over quickly.”

Haimbodi thinks there is a correlation between social media and the trend of sexting. “The internet connects all of us, all over the world. As much as we want to be conservative, we are exposed to these things. Even the photos we see on Instagram have become normalised.”

Clemence Beukes*, a young Namibian male, says he understands why people take nudes and why they send them to their significant others. “We live in a time where people are always connected and if you are in a relationship, you always want to spice things up,” he says, mentioning that it should only be done within trusting relationships.

“I personally do not take pics, although I do like to flirt with the people that I’m seeing at the time. I have received a few nudes, and I never share them with anyone. I would rather just delete them,” he says. “I think as a man, I’m less pressured to do this, as boys from early ages already ask girls for these things.”

He says that people should be careful if they do take pictures of themselves and should not send them to anyone, or let anyone have their passwords, because even those around you can’t be trusted.

“It can really ruin a reputation, and people will always remember.”

It seems that caution is the word of the day when you have private items in your possession. World-renowned social media expert Emma Sadleir visited Namibia in 2017 and shared a variety of dangers on the internet and how reputations can be damaged when the privacy of your digital footprint is invaded.

The Weekender previously reported Sadleir saying: “If you do not look after your privacy, you will not have any… If you have never been on social media, you have a higher expectation of privacy than someone who is.”

She elaborated that when someone is on stage at a concert or any other public event, taking and sharing a photo of them wouldn’t necessarily be an invasion of their privacy, as opposed to someone sharing private images of you or taking photos of you without consent.

She also pointed out that thereare two social media elements to be very wary of – your digital footprint and your digital shadow. The first being what you post about yourself online, something you can control, and the second being what other people post about you, which you have no control over.

On her blog thedigitallawco.com, Sadleir talks about the topic of sextortation. “We use the term ‘sextortation’ to refer to the threat of distributing private or sexual images or videos as a form of blackmail in order to receive something in return, most frequently money,” she writes.

Sadleir says in order not to fall victim to this, you should not send nudes to people you have just met online. Don’t take at face value that people are who they say they are online. If you have started an online relationship, then FaceTime or Skype the person, if meeting them in the real world is not an option.

“However, if you have already sent nudes to people you don’t know and find yourself in a situation where you are a victim of sextortation, here is what she says you should do:

• Do not, under any circumstance, pay the money. This only leads to requests for more money.

• Block the contact on WhatsApp and on all other platforms from contacting you.

• Consider temporarily deactivating your social media accounts until the person leaves you alone. If threats are extended to family members, they should do the same.

• Take screenshots of the threats to gather as evidence.

• Consider changing your cellphone number if they keep contacting you.

Body positivity is never a bad thing, but be sure to keep private things private and not to fall victim to over-exposure or sextortation.

*Not their real names

– @jonathan_sasha on Twitter; @jonathan.sasha on Instagram

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