Let Namibia put out UK fire

BRITISH Prime Minister David Cameron had to cut his nice Tuscan holiday short just to admonish an unruly mob of youngsters who have been rioting in various London neighbourhoods and other cities this week.

He warned them (in a wimpish Sam Nujoma impersonation) that they will feel the full force of the law. It is believed the youth were protesting police brutality after they killed a young man last week.You know you are in deep shit if Robert Mugabe points at you and laughs his asss off.Zimbabwe’s illegitimate ruler supreme told Britain ‘to put out your own fires’ and to stop interfering in his country’s affairs. I believe he then burst out in an evil dictator’s chuckle.Mugabe spoke Tuesday at a military parade kamma honouring Zimbabwe’s armed forces. He said ‘London is burning,’ referring to days of arson, crime and looting in the capital of the former colonial power. He also referred to recent financial upheavals in the United States as ‘problems’ the country should attend to.It wasn’t clear what exactly there was to honour about the Zimbabwean army.On Tuesday Cameron ordered 16 000 trembling police officers onto London’s streets to end the criminal looting.While Zimbos chuckle at the misfortune of their erstwhile masters, the English should look no further than Namibia to quell this grave and profound terrorism that they cannot seem to get undercontrol. The Namibian police could offertheir Pommy pals only 50 parra- parras. Those gweeries could klap London into tranquility in less than 24 hours. The bontpakke usually give any suspicious looking character the snotklap of his life before they even ask why he looks so suspicious and why is he wearing an earring if he has a dick. Those lilly livered yobs will think twice before continuing their loutish behaviour while the pride and joy of Namibia’s armed forces patrol their streets.Our water: There must be something that entrenches the apathy so deeply that we hardly raise our voices or eyebrows when we are brutally wronged. I suspect it’s the watered down excuse for piss that we drink in Windhoek that render us largely unconscious. Let’s give them water, by thetank, to tranquilise the bloody troublemakers.Mindless Facebook pages: I heard these youngsters tweeted and SMSed each other to meet and loot at specific points. If they were Namibians they would have had no energy or inkling to do anything else than sit on Facebook all day making contributions and reading rubbish posts on senseless pages that lists their tribes’ worst behaviour and traits. Otherwise Namibians just sit the whole day on Facebook doing fokkol anyway, even if they have piles of work stacking up.Special envoy Tate Sam: Rioting was already in its fourth day when Cameron decided to pack his bags in Italy and return home to attempt to deal with the growing problem. Now, if you are in a crisis you need a strong man to act decisively and strike fear into those yobs that will make them piss themselves. If those idiots hear, ‘my army and I will deal with you!’ while wagging his famous index finger do you think they will still riot? Strange how you miss decisiveness and leadership nowadays.But if things take a turn for the worse we should probably consider sending a delegation of MP’s to expose these kids to the rich entertainment that we have enjoyed for 20 years. We can make Uutoni Nujoma chief clown, I mean head of delegation. Maybe if they have something to point their fingers at and laugh, they might just stop the violence.So, what would you have done?- rambler@namibian.com.na