Lady says bullying led her to surgery

“Since primary school, I have faced bullying, a painful experience that continued throughout high school. I still remember a former classmate refusing to sit next to me because of the way my eyes looked.”

These are the words of Sandra Nakashole (21) who underwent an eye surgery at Windhoek Central Hospital last month.

“I cried every night because people made fun of my eyes, saying negative things and making memes with my image. But one day I had enough and decided to take a bold step and get an eye surgery,” she says.

Although some of her close relatives and friends did not agree with the surgery, she convinced them she wanted to get it done. Nakashole started with the eye test procedures last August and was operated on 27 March.

She says she was both happy and sad, because of the long wait before the procedure could finally take place and since the bullying had gotten worse. She says she is grateful to her parents and partner who have always been her support system.

“My experience in university was different because everyone was in their own world. The bullying started again when I started my social media platforms, people started making negative comments about me,” she adds.

“Bullying has affected my mental health negatively. I used to allow people to validate me, and lost my self confidence and I felt that other people were better than me,” she says.

Nakashole says she didn’t have any support in school because she was fearful of speaking up. She says she never spoke up or told anyone about the bullying. However, when she started university, she met friends who accepted her for who she was and who she could confide in.

“My friends in university always supported me,” she says.

After sharing her story on social media recently, a lot of people reached out to her, sharing their bullying experiences.

“I want to help them, to guide them on the process I went through. I want to set up campaigns with the ministry of health to help spread mental health awareness. I also want the ministry of education to help me spread awareness at schools.”

Nakashole advises those experiencing bullying to speak up and seek help.

Do not allow other people to validate you. Whenever you feel down, remember: ‘you are strong, powerful and beautiful’, she says.

Nakashole’s childhood friend, Kristofina Amwaama (20), from Windhoek’s Hakahana area recalls Nakashole being bullied so much she cried and did not want to leave the house to play with other children.

“She even had to move from Hakahana to another location because she couldn’t endure the bullying. I am happy for her and that she doesn’t have to experience what she did when she was a child,” she says.

Windhoek-based clinical psychologist Shaun Whittaker says bullying comments made to victims hurt them tremendously and make them doubt themselves.