Big Brother: Tread softly coz you’re treading on my politics

BERTHA blew her Oprah cool.

Ofunneka has everyone bewitched, bothered and bewildered. Meryl has kapana cravings.And Justice got to rock the house – well sort of.Just another day in Big Brother ‘paradise’.Actually 48 hours.And the fault lines are starting to appear ahead of the first eviction nominations – this Monday! Lerato and Ofunneka.It’s getting bitTTTter.Biggie has made Ofunneka head of the house and she’s laying down the law, big time.What time to shower, what time to eat breakfast, etc.Lerato does not like.At all.And is carrying on like a shebeen queen on steroids.She griped to Meryl that “this is not Cuba where you have to be dictated to”.Still, Meryl, in a message on her blog said while she didn’t agree with the new regimen, she thinks Ofunneka is fair.Don’t get me wrong.Lerato can be a fun-of-a-gun and is one of those who fuels the dynamics in the house.But she can also be like a dog with a bone.She just cannot let something go.The same when it comes to Max! Despite him having a girlfriend back home it seems to have got Madam Palaver in more of a lather.But more on that later! If time permits.Ofunneka’s elevation to chief mate not only has the house in a tizz, but Nigerians.Paranoia is rife.Some see it as a ploy by the Big to make their house rep unpopular.And of course, being Nigerians, they feel it is because BBA does not want a Nigerian to take home the money.And after Jeff’s failed state leadership, Offie’s reign is being seen as something akin to the military junta taking over! And boy did the SMSes started flowing about the new Nigerian “regime”.Some housemates only emulating their leaders, etc.”What else do you expect from a continent not short [please note those of you on my case about Justice, short here does not refer to the resident okaperson!] of tyrants,” wrote one agitated SMSer.Ofunneka.Ofunneka.The 30something is into order.And cleanliness.And cleaning up.And things being in their place.People too! The girl does the full range on strange.Some kind of strange at that.But at least she’s strange.From being accused of dubious cultural practices – admittedly by Lerato – because of her traditional dance to reciting the Hail Mary for Kwaku late at night! Offie seems to inhabit some parallel universe which vaguely intersects with the BBA house at odd moments.She may not be the most ebullient, but she’s emerging as a character.BERTHA’S BIG MOMENT Bertha, oh, Bertha.Earlier this week housemates had to pick the name of a country represented in the house and give a 90 second presentation.Innocent enough.Most housemates gave a rather impressionistic view of each other’s countries.Including Richard.”Harare’s, the capital, right?” “And mainly African people live there, right?,” he joked.”And Mugabe sacked the whites a few years ago.””And Zimbabwe’s dealing …with problems.”That was more or less the sum of it.Pheeeeewwww.Bertha blew her fuse.Her temper rose more rapidly than the inflation rate in Zimbabwe.Gone was the cool, calm and collected Bertha.Faster than you can say Harpo, her Oprah alter ego went out the window.She called Richard “stupid”.He dug in, as Richard does.Her view: Richard was repeating stereotypes! Anyway, the two later sat down and chatted.Richie said his knowledge came from the newspapers.She said because of their particular situation, being closeted in the house, they needed to watch out for each other.They left it at that.And how’s our Richard.From Prozac Nation to the Energiser Bunny! Or what? I actually think he’s being sponsored by Red Bull.Something’s sure given the boy wings.WHO LET THE BURPS OUT? Meanwhile Kwaku and Meryl have been doing a whole lot of cuddling up.Sleeping together on the lounge floor, along with Lerato and Max, on at least two nights this week.Which brings me to Justice.After consuming beers beyond his height capacity on Tuesday night, he crashed on one of the couches in the lounge.He on one, and Ofunneka on another.One inebriated, the other ston-cold sober, rather like Mother Superior and brother inferior.And in the middle of the floor, the two couples.Everyone dozed off only to have their sleep shattered by what sounded like the warning signs of an impending tsunami: Justice was letting out a string of burps that all but rocked the foundations of the house.Meryl wanted to put a wet towel over his head, ostensibly to calm the situation (I think she’d heard it helped), only to be warned off by Lerato.Tsunamis are unpredictable! Oblivious to the fact that he was making waves, Justice slept on.Kwaku and Meryl seem comfortable in the same space.But that’s about all for now.Though notorious Ugandan tabloid Red Pepper would have us think differently.Max and Lerato have loved it up, argued it out and warily felt their way around each other.She’s upping her seduction game – “don’t you know it’s Temptation Island”, she whispered in his ear at one point, and he seems to be trying to fight it (temptation, I think).But how long it will last, who knows? The housemates refer to them as “husband” and “wife”.During one of their tenser moments this week, the two were bickering at the dinner table, drawing a dry “Mummy and Daddy are not supposed to quarrel in front of the children!” from Meryl.Code I’ll leave to another day.So, ja, week two in the BBA house is coming to a close, with even more drama ahead as nomination day draws closer.Who would you evict and why? Some of The Namibian’s columnists and BBA watchers say who they would put up for nomination on Monday: * Big Sister: Justice – I swear I’m not holding his diminutive physical status against him! It’s just that he is extremely irritating, not particularly entertaining, nor bright for that matter! Maureen – Definitely a Miss Pretty, but a Miss Priss too! She seems to be whining even when she’s not and has little to offer in way of character.* Tonderai Katswara: Jeff – boring.Code – plain irritating, annoying …* Jean Sutherland: Jeff.He may look like Shrek, but the Kenyan doesn’t score on the animation front! Code.This is a man so absorbed in himself that he thinks other people are an extension of his ego.* Mukalya Nampito: Justice and Ofunneka.Justice because he has failed to fit in.Ofunneka because she is just downright strange.Meryl has kapana cravings.And Justice got to rock the house – well sort of.Just another day in Big Brother ‘paradise’.Actually 48 hours.And the fault lines are starting to appear ahead of the first eviction nominations – this Monday! Lerato and Ofunneka.It’s getting bitTTTter.Biggie has made Ofunneka head of the house and she’s laying down the law, big time.What time to shower, what time to eat breakfast, etc.Lerato does not like.At all.And is carrying on like a shebeen queen on steroids.She griped to Meryl that “this is not Cuba where you have to be dictated to”.Still, Meryl, in a message on her blog said while she didn’t agree with the new regimen, she thinks Ofunneka is fair.Don’t get me wrong.Lerato can be a fun-of-a-gun and is one of those who fuels the dynamics in the house.But she can also be like a dog with a bone.She just cannot let something go.The same when it comes to Max! Despite him having a girlfriend back home it seems to have got Madam Palaver in more of a lather.But more on that later! If time permits.Ofunneka’s elevation to chief mate not only has the house in a tizz, but Nigerians.Paranoia is rife.Some see it as a ploy by the Big to make their house rep unpopular.And of course, being Nigerians, they feel it is because BBA does not want a Nigerian to take home the money.And after Jeff’s failed state leadership, Offie’s reign is being seen as something akin to the military junta taking over! And boy did the SMSes started flowing about the new Nigerian “regime”.Some housemates only emulating their leaders, etc.”What else do you expect from a continent not short [please note those of you on my case about Justice, short here does not refer to the resident okaperson!] of tyrants,” wrote one agitated SMSer.Ofunneka.Ofunneka.The 30something is into order.And cleanliness.And cleaning up.And things being in their place.People too! The girl does the full ran
ge on strange.Some kind of strange at that.But at least she’s strange.From being accused of dubious cultural practices – admittedly by Lerato – because of her traditional dance to reciting the Hail Mary for Kwaku late at night! Offie seems to inhabit some parallel universe which vaguely intersects with the BBA house at odd moments.She may not be the most ebullient, but she’s emerging as a character. BERTHA’S BIG MOMENT Bertha, oh, Bertha.Earlier this week housemates had to pick the name of a country represented in the house and give a 90 second presentation.Innocent enough.Most housemates gave a rather impressionistic view of each other’s countries.Including Richard.”Harare’s, the capital, right?” “And mainly African people live there, right?,” he joked.”And Mugabe sacked the whites a few years ago.””And Zimbabwe’s dealing …with problems.”That was more or less the sum of it.Pheeeeewwww.Bertha blew her fuse.Her temper rose more rapidly than the inflation rate in Zimbabwe.Gone was the cool, calm and collected Bertha.Faster than you can say Harpo, her Oprah alter ego went out the window.She called Richard “stupid”.He dug in, as Richard does.Her view: Richard was repeating stereotypes! Anyway, the two later sat down and chatted.Richie said his knowledge came from the newspapers.She said because of their particular situation, being closeted in the house, they needed to watch out for each other.They left it at that.And how’s our Richard.From Prozac Nation to the Energiser Bunny! Or what? I actually think he’s being sponsored by Red Bull.Something’s sure given the boy wings.WHO LET THE BURPS OUT? Meanwhile Kwaku and Meryl have been doing a whole lot of cuddling up.Sleeping together on the lounge floor, along with Lerato and Max, on at least two nights this week.Which brings me to Justice.After consuming beers beyond his height capacity on Tuesday night, he crashed on one of the couches in the lounge.He on one, and Ofunneka on another.One inebriated, the other ston-cold sober, rather like Mother Superior and brother inferior.And in the middle of the floor, the two couples.Everyone dozed off only to have their sleep shattered by what sounded like the warning signs of an impending tsunami: Justice was letting out a string of burps that all but rocked the foundations of the house.Meryl wanted to put a wet towel over his head, ostensibly to calm the situation (I think she’d heard it helped), only to be warned off by Lerato.Tsunamis are unpredictable! Oblivious to the fact that he was making waves, Justice slept on.Kwaku and Meryl seem comfortable in the same space.But that’s about all for now.Though notorious Ugandan tabloid Red Pepper would have us think differently.Max and Lerato have loved it up, argued it out and warily felt their way around each other.She’s upping her seduction game – “don’t you know it’s Temptation Island”, she whispered in his ear at one point, and he seems to be trying to fight it (temptation, I think).But how long it will last, who knows? The housemates refer to them as “husband” and “wife”.During one of their tenser moments this week, the two were bickering at the dinner table, drawing a dry “Mummy and Daddy are not supposed to quarrel in front of the children!” from Meryl.Code I’ll leave to another day.So, ja, week two in the BBA house is coming to a close, with even more drama ahead as nomination day draws closer. Who would you evict and why? Some of The Namibian’s columnists and BBA watchers say who they would put up for nomination on Monday: * Big Sister: Justice – I swear I’m not holding his diminutive physical status against him! It’s just that he is extremely irritating, not particularly entertaining, nor bright for that matter! Maureen – Definitely a Miss Pretty, but a Miss Priss too! She seems to be whining even when she’s not and has little to offer in way of character.* Tonderai Katswara: Jeff – boring.Code – plain irritating, annoying …* Jean Sutherland: Jeff.He may look like Shrek, but the Kenyan doesn’t score on the animation front! Code.This is a man so absorbed in himself that he thinks other people are an extension of his ego.* Mukalya Nampito: Justice and Ofunneka.Justice because he has failed to fit in.Ofunneka because she is just downright strange.