Big Brother Amplified: The Second Coming of Millicent

TAILS should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky!! (With apologies to Kylie Minogue and her songwriter …)

Bathong! A saintly fusion of St Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela, an angel of goodness and grace, a humanitarian of note, a formidable giver, has been apostled into Tails.Altogether now: They should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky …An angel is among them. Millicent! Believe it. The Kenyan actress is back from the dead, resurrected to gossip – oops, errrr and boompsacrazy, not sure what I should be meaning, maybe dispense soothing words? (kwa kwa kwa, trying to stop choking) – another day.Not only that, our Milli of Gourds (with apologies to Lourdes) is going to root out evil in the house.You guessed it, that ‘horrible, horrible’ Weza. Yip, the gorgeous, sexy, husky voiced, generous-hearted Angolan. SOMETHING ABOUT THE GIRLHave to declare my interests at this point. I love Weza. She’s not my favourite of faves, but she’s in the top half.A saint she ain’t, but ‘there’s something about about this girl o … ‘Guess that’s why so many people are trying to bring her down, including those fans who fear she poses a threat to their favourites.Some of the vile bile being spewed is far from pretty. In fact, uglified rather than amplified. So yeah, Milli arrived in Tails flapping her angel wings, halo in tow (guess there was no space in her suitcase), to a raucous welcome from Luclay, who almost instantly declared her his wife, and a fond embrace from Alex.Alex and Millicent, of course, shared a kiss during the first week, when all the housemates were under one roof. Fans may also recall that while in Heads, Milli’s sole and authentic reason for being was to talk the hind leg off a donkey about Confidence and Weza.When the two left, she all but withered away and died.OK, so after a sit-down, family dinner in the Jerry Springer ‘rebel stronghold’ on Sunday, Milli spent hours gossiping … oops, I mean workshopping … with Alex, behind closed doors. No prizes for guessing the topic. Weza.Alex spilled his version of what Weza said about Milli’s doings in Heads.And to those who actually cared to hear – as opposed to listen to – Milli’s two cents’ worth, much of what the Angolan has relayed was on the mark. The difference lies in the interpretation.SISTER MILLIMilli said she only helped the boys with their laundry, etc, etc, ‘because I’m a humanitarian’. ‘I treated them as my brothers,’ she frothed. Exactly what Weza said!’I’m a communal person’, ‘I’m a giver and I give.’In case you haven’t got it yet, ‘I share because I care,’ she frothed. Hmmmmmm … last time I heard that in BBA was when holy roller Bertha from Zimbabwe was trying to snaffle Ghana’s Kwaku from our Meryl. Eish!In Heads, she, she who is Millicent, was the guardian of good cheer, the hub of laughter, a tsunami of caring, the cherub of love.And that Weza, that dayum Weza, she doesn’t have my ‘maturity and humanity’, Milli all but spat out. That’s right. ‘Weza cannot buy my personality, she cannot buy my humility.’Take that, Weza!! You ‘wicked, wicked’ girl.Actually Milli’s exact words were ‘this girl, she is so wicked’.Yes Weza, how dare you even breathe the same air!SAINTS ALIVE!Kind of surprised that Milli’s picking up weight and not losing it given how the Weza issue seems to eat away at her.Aikona Milli, lighten up. Even saints are allowed to laugh. And take Alex’s advice, start with a clean slate in Tails and leave those grudges behind.Had to laugh. After all the ‘what’s wrong with Weza’ waffle, Milli asked Alex if he was hitting on anyone in the house. Not, he said, but if he did, it would be Weza! Oh wowzer!!Not long after that, Alex and Weza ended up having an intimate chat in which they both declared that they were attracted to one another. Just another day in the Tails house. ‘Generations’ meets Jerry Springer!Otherwise, by the time you read this, we’ll know what surprise Biggie was set to announce last night.Stay Tuned!