Big Brother Africa: The heat is on, the snakes out

BERTHA’S in evangelising mode, Tatiana and Code have been flirting outrageously – with all and sundry, Justice has picked another fight, Lerato has been slithering around (and I’m not only talking about Max here), and Ofunneka has been … well, being Ofunneka!

And, of course, the resident couples (no guessing who) spent Sunday night together doing some comfort cuddling in each other’s beds. That’s all, BBA peeps.Comfort cuddling! This column is not rated 16.All this ahead of last night’s first nominations.The harsh reality of what BBA is about will doubtless have set in by this morning.Two housemates will wake up knowing that this could be their last week in the house! And they’ll be wondering who stuck the knife in! Of course, when they come to view the tapes, or DVDs, of the show, fellow housemates will have said we’re nominating “so and so …nothing personal, but …”, or “I feel it’s for their own good”.Blah, blah, blah.Oh, yeah.We’re talking US$100 000 here! The game is on.In earnest.And how’s Bertha? No one’s more likely to couch their nomination choices in Oprah inspirational speak than Bertha.Sure, she has a nice singing voice.Sure, she speaks beautifully.Sure, she’s articulate.Sure, she’s likeable.But don’t be fooled.Behind those beautiful eyes, her mind is working overtime.Bertha has a STEELY streak.Our Zimbo housemate has emerged as THE frontrunner in the Machiavellian stakes.Just peel away that carefully cultivated Oprah image …She’s playing the game.Big time.In the last few days she’s got all pro-rato with Lerato (yes, Lerato, and B quite obviously disapproves of Max and Lerato hooking up, but allies are allies), chatted up Kwaku, tried to act as a confidante to Justice, stroked Code’s ego and explained her ‘tough-love’ approach to tasks to Maxwell.Bertha’s not one to let the chips fall where they will.Rather like the Crusaders of old, I’m sure she’d be quite happy to don the armour of righteousness (that’s how Big B sees herself), and not feel a qualm as she puts you to the sword! Anyone else notice that she held a small religious service in the garden on Sunday using the Bible’s best-known verse on love, 1 Corinthians 13, only to be spotted barely an hour later reading Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’, one of the most famous studies on strategy.GO, OFFIE! I’m liking Ofunneka more by the day! And even more so after she more than gave as good as she got when Justice tried to use her as his springboard to misery – does the okaperson never learn? Or is he just addicted to shouting matches? Or maybe he’s got the hulks for sulks.Bully for you Offie! Justice is just not doing justice to his role as Botswana’s housemate.He seems to be using his height to stir up imagined slights.FRIENDS FOR REAL It’s not only IQ on show with Meryl and Richard (wasn’t it more than sweet that they were the only two to work out the puzzle), now one of my firm favourites.The sexy duo are also steaming up the screen during shower hour – I HEAR! Probably the freest spirits in the house, Richie and Meryl also seem to be becoming fast friends.She’s given him a facial, they do a mean salsa in tandem and they’re generally chill when together.And Lerato? Both she and Bertha appear to be playing a double game.Having set herself up as Meryl’s friend, Lerato – “I’m just here to be myself” – has slithered into Judas territory and all but hung the Namibian out to dry when it comes to gossiping with other housemates, especially Bertha and Kwaku.She even quizzed the sexy Ghanaian on what it felt like to kiss Meryl.S’truth! And then made out that SHE would have given him more thrills and spills than the Cobra, the mother of all rollercoaster rides, at Cape Town’s Ratanga Junction.Snake city! And expect more of it in the weeks ahead.* The BBA SMS number is: 15626; the Web address is: http://www.mnetafrica.com/Bigbrother; and, of course, the action takes place on Channel 37, DStv.That’s all, BBA peeps.Comfort cuddling! This column is not rated 16.All this ahead of last night’s first nominations.The harsh reality of what BBA is about will doubtless have set in by this morning.Two housemates will wake up knowing that this could be their last week in the house! And they’ll be wondering who stuck the knife in! Of course, when they come to view the tapes, or DVDs, of the show, fellow housemates will have said we’re nominating “so and so …nothing personal, but …”, or “I feel it’s for their own good”.Blah, blah, blah.Oh, yeah.We’re talking US$100 000 here! The game is on.In earnest.And how’s Bertha? No one’s more likely to couch their nomination choices in Oprah inspirational speak than Bertha.Sure, she has a nice singing voice.Sure, she speaks beautifully.Sure, she’s articulate.Sure, she’s likeable.But don’t be fooled.Behind those beautiful eyes, her mind is working overtime.Bertha has a STEELY streak.Our Zimbo housemate has emerged as THE frontrunner in the Machiavellian stakes.Just peel away that carefully cultivated Oprah image …She’s playing the game.Big time.In the last few days she’s got all pro-rato with Lerato (yes, Lerato, and B quite obviously disapproves of Max and Lerato hooking up, but allies are allies), chatted up Kwaku, tried to act as a confidante to Justice, stroked Code’s ego and explained her ‘tough-love’ approach to tasks to Maxwell.Bertha’s not one to let the chips fall where they will.Rather like the Crusaders of old, I’m sure she’d be quite happy to don the armour of righteousness (that’s how Big B sees herself), and not feel a qualm as she puts you to the sword! Anyone else notice that she held a small religious service in the garden on Sunday using the Bible’s best-known verse on love, 1 Corinthians 13, only to be spotted barely an hour later reading Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’, one of the most famous studies on strategy.GO, OFFIE! I’m liking Ofunneka more by the day! And even more so after she more than gave as good as she got when Justice tried to use her as his springboard to misery – does the okaperson never learn? Or is he just addicted to shouting matches? Or maybe he’s got the hulks for sulks.Bully for you Offie! Justice is just not doing justice to his role as Botswana’s housemate.He seems to be using his height to stir up imagined slights. FRIENDS FOR REAL It’s not only IQ on show with Meryl and Richard (wasn’t it more than sweet that they were the only two to work out the puzzle), now one of my firm favourites.The sexy duo are also steaming up the screen during shower hour – I HEAR! Probably the freest spirits in the house, Richie and Meryl also seem to be becoming fast friends.She’s given him a facial, they do a mean salsa in tandem and they’re generally chill when together.And Lerato? Both she and Bertha appear to be playing a double game.Having set herself up as Meryl’s friend, Lerato – “I’m just here to be myself” – has slithered into Judas territory and all but hung the Namibian out to dry when it comes to gossiping with other housemates, especially Bertha and Kwaku.She even quizzed the sexy Ghanaian on what it felt like to kiss Meryl.S’truth! And then made out that SHE would have given him more thrills and spills than the Cobra, the mother of all rollercoaster rides, at Cape Town’s Ratanga Junction.Snake city! And expect more of it in the weeks ahead.* The BBA SMS number is: 15626; the Web address is: http://www.mnetafrica.com/Bigbrother; and, of course, the action takes place on Channel 37, DStv.