Big Brother Africa 4: The electoral college has spoken, it’s time to choose!

SJOE people, it’s time to vote – already!
And no, I’m not having a hot tranny mess of a meltdown.
I do know that our national and presidential elections are only at the end of November.

Talking about a different reality here.Constituents of the Big Brother Africa house had an electoral college meeting on Monday, and the chips are down.Not one, not two but all 12 current housemates are up for eviction this week. Although there was a nomination process – and some housemates received more votes than others – the mother of all fathers of the nation, that amorphous voice that pulls the strings behind the scenes, Big-E, has decided to throw everyone at the mercy of the voters. So get to it! And remember, the rules have changed. This year it’s all about voting to keep your favourites IN. THIGHS, SIGHS AND WHYS?First impressions are not necessarily a good pointer when it comes to the Big Brother marathon, but some people are already profiling – big time, short time and no time.But first the long and the short of it. Actually the short of it.BBA blogs are abuzz with the fact that a lot of the men are … well vertically challenged!I have my own theory. And it’s not up for debate. Remember Botswana’s ‘don’t mess with my beer bottle’ Justus. Yes, that Justus!I have a feeling that the producers sneaked the ‘king of short’ onto this year’s interviewing panel. How else do you account for it?Botswana, aaaaaaaah Botswana. This year Justus’s homeland is representing in the form of one Kaone. But what’s with his broekies?Dude, we know that wearing your pants south of the border is seen as a fashion statement by some, but eish … that low ain’t no fashion statement!More like a drooping comma in search of a statement. Any statement.They look like mom pants with enough billow and waffle to power a wind farm, and enough trunk room to house a load of elephant manure. Not cool. Especially not first thing in the morning.While we’re in the nether regions, I think Nigeria’s Kevin packs a pair of thighs that could sort out the Springboks’ front-row problems. Snap him up Peter de Villiers! DREAD LOCKDOWNThe same can’t be said for the house’s resident ‘ra, ra, boom, boom, here I am’ rasta man.Forget about ‘There’s A Zulu On My Stoep’, on Sunday night Ghana’s Wayoe sported a lock hairstyle so elaborate that it screams ‘There’s A Tokoloshe In My Dreads’. Eeeeeeeeuw, maybe even a coven of tokoloshes! Oooooh Wayoe maa’aaan …As you know, I’m not one to dish dirt, but Mr ‘I am a God among men’ Uganda, otherwise known as Hannington, appears to have something of an ungodly problem.Bloggers are getting all sniffy about his apparent love-hate relationship with hygiene, and a seeming penchant for bacterial breeding. And what’s with all his ‘tackle’ grabbing?Eish, bro!Otherwise, if the love in the blogosphere is anything to go by, Zimbabwe’s Itai is the main man for now. Stay tuned!* You can watch Big Brother Africa 24 hours a day on DStv channel 198. The daily show, live nominations and eviction shows will be broadcast on M-Net Africa (DStv channel 102). Africa Magic (DStv channel 107) will broadcast all repeats.