Big Brother Africa 4: Men in wet panties!

CAN someone please change Hannington’s nappy! Please, pretty please.
Uganda dude is all wee-wee’d up [President Barack Obama said this from the podium, so yes I can!] that the girls in the house are also playing the game.

I mean. Do he and the smokers’ cartel really think that the girls are just there as accessories?Oh Hannington, oh ‘I am a god among men’ Hannington. Oh Smellington.I laughed so hard that I thought my sides were going to split at the cartel’s reaction after Rene blabbed to them that the girls have something of an alliance going.Talk about testosterone take-off! The twins’ kilts had a twin orgy, Yacob looked as though he’d been tasered and may remain stunned for life, and Phil, well Phil did what Phil does, he phili-blustered.LETHAL WEAPONBut Hannington, Hannington takes the cake. He went loco, just like TransNamib’s locomotives. Off the rails! All loco and little motive.Talk about Eyes of Mass Destruction. I thought his eyeballs were going to pop out of his head like unguided missiles as they darted and rolled faster than Chuck Norris on steroids firing an Uzi. Eish, I cowered in fear as ‘I’m a god among men’ then launched the mother of all byatch attacks on ‘those assassin girls’.’If I get nominated, I’m coming back because Africa wants me in the house because I bring entertainment, not like these b**ches that are playing us,’ Hannington proclaimed. ‘Those b**ches are going down.’And how would it look to Africa if a woman won, the guys would be seen as moegoes! Huh? So the guys are the only ones who are allowed to play for the money? Go figure!And he, yes he Hannington, had now given up on ‘those girls’.Talk about last comic standing! Hanny seems to be forgetting that he hasn’t had much luck with the ladies of the house.Emma quickly got his number, Geraldine gave him a brush-off, albeit a gentle one, and as for the rest of the girls, it’s been downhill all the way.Poor Hanny. I fear for his hair.It must be a bitter pill for ‘I’m a god among men’ to discover that he’s not ‘a god among women’!Shem.SNAKES ON A PLANEOne of the choicest comments after the ‘girls also want to win’ bombshell on Tuesday night had to come from Yacob.Shellshocked, he and Phil, the main gossips in the house, retired to the bedroom, huddled in a corner and started muttering about girls this and girls that, and wadda, wadda, wadda. Paloma happened to come in and jokingly asked them if they were gossiping.’We don’t gossip, girls gossip,’ Yacob whimpered disdainfully, looking like a bedraggled dog caught in the rain. A bemused looking Paloma left.The hushed muttering continued. I don’t know what Phili-bluster said, but Yacob responded that ‘I know who the serpents are already.’These are the very same guys who formed an alliance and were trying to pick off the non-smoking guys – Jeremy, Quinn, Leonel, Kevin and Kaone – one by one.And after the girls joined the house on Sunday night, Yacob and his smoking cartel, said nothing had changed, or would change.Their game plan stayed in place, and would not only be executed, but executed with intent. Jeremy, Quinn and Leonel were the first targets.What a difference a day makes!Now the smokers are huffing and puffing about ‘breaking the girls’. They see Paloma and South Africa’s Liz as the ones to “take out”.They believe if they can get rid of them, the rest of the girls will crumble, see the guys as masters of the universe, simper and take their ‘rightful place’ among the decorations in the house.I mean, how can a girl even possibly think of trying to win the US$200 000!How dare they!!What an insult to the guy’s gonads!!!What amazes me though is that the guys took Rene’s statement at face value!How do they know she isn’t trying to play them? I don’t think she is, but still … She gave them a version. Kevin and Kaone and company seem to be taking a page out of ‘The Art of War’ and are being much more circumspect for now. They’re first recce-ing the terrain.Big Brother Africa 4 has awoken from its slumber. Machiavelli is at large. It’s drama with a capital D. D.R.A.M.A. in flashing neon lights.Give it up for the girls for daring to compete! Reality bites.Stay tuned.* Tune in to DStv Channel 198 or 199 to catch the action live 24/7, or watch the daily highlights show on M-Net (DStv Channel 101/102) and AfricaMagic (DStv Channel 114) every day at 18h30. Weekly highlights will also be aired on NBC, every Saturday from 21h15 – 22h15.