Big Brother Africa 4: Calling Chuck Norris!

IS it going to be ‘Massacre at Capoeira Creek’? Is Leo going to see his Nel? Are we going to witness the dying kick of the capoeira kid come Sunday?

In short, is the Kevin’s Gate cult (in no way linked to the Heaven’s Gate cult) set to kick Moz dude to kingdom come?Yip peeps, 50 Naira (Kevin to you) goes head to head – or hairstyle to hairstyle – with Leo the Nel, aka the capoeira kid, this week. As you know, Leo and Zimbabwe’s Itai, aka ItSpy, received the most nominations from fellow housemates on Monday, followed by Nigerian housemates Geraldine and Nkenna.Even before the voice of Biggie headmistress announced this week’s nominees on Monday night, speculation was rife in the blogosphere that only two housemates would be up – because of the potential Naija component if there were more than two housemates. Eish, suspicion about Abuja’s purported influence on the show is as persistent as those 419 scam e-mails; both just refuse to pack their devious bags and voetsek.The argument this week is that the Biggie powers-that-be didn’t want to risk two Nigerians, possibly three (after the HoH switch), being in the mix.Conspiracies, conspiracies, conspiracies!!!EDDIE’S CHOICEFaced with the choice of saving the capoeira kid or ItSpy, Head of House (HoH) Eddie – possibly with an eye to a third HoH term – seemed to take his cue from certain political leaders back home and chose to provide temporary asylum for the Zimbabwean.He replaced Itai with newly bereft widower, 50 Naira.So there you have it peeps!! Not exactly the showdown of the season, but it’s the only showdown in town.At first glance it seems like a one-horse race. And at second glance, it appears like a one-horse race.Or, and it seems a big or, will Leo fans be able to summon their inner Norris and make like Chuck. As legend has it, ‘Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush’ (just check out the Chuck Norris ‘fact sites’ – if you dare!).Nigeria’s ‘village insurgent’, Nkenna, defied the odds last week! Big time. But will viewers rally round Moz dude? Hmmmmmmmm ….Who knows? But not if he doesn’t do something about his hair. Eish BBA nation, it looks like he’s hosting a bosberaad up there.There’s so much bush encroachment going on that even Chuck Norris and Jet Li couldn’t kick their way out of those dreadfuls … eish, I mean dreads gone wild.It’s time for Leo to remember another Chuck legend: ‘Chuck Norris does not ‘style’ his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.’Not that 50 Naira’s mohawk has more on offer. In short (and please, Kevin’s Gate cult members, this is not – I repeat NOT – a reference to height), it looks like a leftover thatched canoe from an Okavango River boat race!And that’s the long and the short of it. Sorry no shower hour today … my inner byatch has taken the day off …Stay tuned!