BBA needs the kiss of life!

BBA needs the kiss of life!

IF you needed evidence of how dead the house can be and might continue to be until the end of the show, Monday night was a prime example.

After the nominations were announced, Bertha and Kwaku (the nominees) retired to the bedroom to do their Mutual Admiration Club thing, while the Boring 5 (Big 5) orbited aimlessly around each other in the living room. Richiana held hands and stared into space.What on earth were they waiting for – the slow boat to Zanzibar? Close by, Maureen and Ofunneka were doing Code’s dreadlocks! Can’t imagine being locked into anything more dreadful.Again, no conversation, just silence and staring into space! Are we to be subjected to pimple picking, continuous couple canoodling and annoying blah-blahing, for the next six weeks? Surely not.Come on ‘Big 5’, liven up the show.Live up to the ‘Big 5’ title some have bestowed on you.This is the time to show us lovers of the ‘Untouchables’ that you can be just as entertaining as they are and were.This is the time to pick up the mantle left by Meryl, Maxwell, Lerato and to a certain extent Justice, or at least to pick up the pace.Where’ve the sauciness, sharp retorts, jokes and exhibitionism gone? In short, where’s the spark?! Where are our broken BBA hearts to go for healing if BB leaves us in the lurch? I ask you, BBA watchers.Stand up and be counted Boring (Big) 5! BIG UP, BIGGIE Biggie, the ball’s in your court.You need to do something otherwise you’ll continue to leak viewers.Your show needs serious resuscitation.Maybe you should consider people’s suggestions of adding another twist like bringing back some old housemates, to give you hint, the controversial ones, just to jack up the ‘Boring 5’.Or if you can’t bring back some housemates, perhaps you should bring in new housemates.It’s really getting hard to stick to channel 198.My relationship with BBA is in serious jeopardy! We were all addicts when the show started.For the first month, you couldn’t pull me away from the television set.I lived and breathed BBA.Not anymore.I’ve tried to stand by you Biggie – just as Tammy Wynette sings – so we can see this through, so that we can have another BBA next year or the year after but God, at this rate, its torturous to have to sit through even an hour at present.We need sustenance! No surprises.Bertha and Kwaku got the highest nominations and so are up for eviction.Each and everyone of the ‘Boring 5′ nominated the two, saying they were not as close to them as to members of their own group.Richard, this week’s head of house, let the nominations stand as it.Bertha’s apt comment: It is what it is.’YOU ARE HOT’ In the bedroom, Bertha, aka B, tried to turn on the charm and score points with an increasingly resistant Kwaku.”You know you are hot, right” B told him.A coy Kwaku said he didn’t.Bertha persisted: “On a scale of one to 10, one being the least hot and 10 being the hottest, how do you rate yourself?” Kwaku said he was an average five or six.You would think she would stop there and accept that at least he wasn’t vain, not Bertha.She disagreed, telling him he shouldn’t pretend because she was sure he received a lot of female attention, and that she rated him at 7 or 8.But Kwaku insisted that he didn’t consider himself that hot and what he considered as the full package in a guy was someone like actor Sean Connery.He said people like Connery made him realise he wasn’t there yet, that he needed to improve on certain qualities.What qualities, he didn’t elaborate.He was, however, egotistical enough to boast that he rarely went after women.”They come after me”.He gave Meryl and Bertha as examples! Ouch …women, leave him be.But she persisted.Are you saying that if I hadn’t made the move, we wouldn’t be here now? A resounding ‘NO’ was his answer.”No, we wouldn’t be where we are at now.Especially when you had stereotyped me from the beginning.”Bertha, please, can’t you see that guy is a playa? Leave him be if you are serious about looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage.Kwaku is still playing and younger women like Meryl are a much better match for him right now.FUTURE WATCH Come Monday it will be interesting to see who is going to be nominated along with the last of the ‘Untouchables’? Maybe, it will see some life breathed into the house then.Will the couples decide to do away with the lone Ofunneka or will they turn on each other.Will it be a Richiana versus Codreen match up? From the ways things are going, I have a feeling Code might be in trouble.Having been part of the T-unit, he might find himself in danger of being nominated.He’s withdrawn into himself a bit recently and rarely chats and laughs with the rest of his group unless he is spoken to.What is he thinking about? Is it his ‘shorty’ back home, or his position in the house.What would really make it more interesting is if the remaining ‘Untouchable’ wins head of house! That way, he or she will be able to save themselves and replace the name with another one from the ‘Boring 5’.Two of them on the spot! Imagine that! Maybe then they’ll become more energetic.God, how can people be so dead! Biggie, we’re counting on you to revive this show.It’s dying a slow death.* Catch all the BBA2 action on Channel 198, DStv.Richiana held hands and stared into space.What on earth were they waiting for – the slow boat to Zanzibar? Close by, Maureen and Ofunneka were doing Code’s dreadlocks! Can’t imagine being locked into anything more dreadful.Again, no conversation, just silence and staring into space! Are we to be subjected to pimple picking, continuous couple canoodling and annoying blah-blahing, for the next six weeks? Surely not.Come on ‘Big 5’, liven up the show.Live up to the ‘Big 5’ title some have bestowed on you.This is the time to show us lovers of the ‘Untouchables’ that you can be just as entertaining as they are and were.This is the time to pick up the mantle left by Meryl, Maxwell, Lerato and to a certain extent Justice, or at least to pick up the pace.Where’ve the sauciness, sharp retorts, jokes and exhibitionism gone? In short, where’s the spark?! Where are our broken BBA hearts to go for healing if BB leaves us in the lurch? I ask you, BBA watchers.Stand up and be counted Boring (Big) 5! BIG UP, BIGGIE Biggie, the ball’s in your court.You need to do something otherwise you’ll continue to leak viewers.Your show needs serious resuscitation.Maybe you should consider people’s suggestions of adding another twist like bringing back some old housemates, to give you hint, the controversial ones, just to jack up the ‘Boring 5’.Or if you can’t bring back some housemates, perhaps you should bring in new housemates.It’s really getting hard to stick to channel 198.My relationship with BBA is in serious jeopardy! We were all addicts when the show started.For the first month, you couldn’t pull me away from the television set.I lived and breathed BBA.Not anymore.I’ve tried to stand by you Biggie – just as Tammy Wynette sings – so we can see this through, so that we can have another BBA next year or the year after but God, at this rate, its torturous to have to sit through even an hour at present.We need sustenance! No surprises.Bertha and Kwaku got the highest nominations and so are up for eviction.Each and everyone of the ‘Boring 5’ nominated the two, saying they were not as close to them as to members of their own group.Richard, this week’s head of house, let the nominations stand as it.Bertha’s apt comment: It is what it is. ‘YOU ARE HOT’ In the bedroom, Bertha, aka B, tried to turn on the charm and score points with an increasingly resistant Kwaku.”You know you are hot, right” B told him.A coy Kwaku said he didn’t.Bertha persisted: “On a scale of one to 10, one being the least hot and 10 being the hottest, how do you rate yourself?” Kwaku said he was an average five or six.You would think she would stop there and accept that at least he wasn’t vain, not Bertha.She disagreed, telling him he shouldn’t pretend because she was sure he received a lot of female attention, and that she rated him at 7 or 8.But Kwaku insisted that he didn’t consider himself that hot and what he considered as the full package in a guy was someone like actor Sean Connery.He said people like Connery made him realise he wasn’t there yet, that he needed to improve on certain qualities.What qualities, he didn’t elaborate.He was, however, egotistical enough to boast that he rarely went after women.”They come after me”.He gave Meryl and Bertha as examples! Ouch …women, leave him be.But she persisted.Are you saying that if I hadn’t made the move, we wouldn’t be here now? A resounding ‘NO’ was his answer.”No, we wouldn’t be where we are at now.Especially when you had stereotyped me from the beginning.”Bertha, please, can’t you see that guy is a playa? Leave him be if you are serious about looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage.Kwaku is still playing and younger women like Meryl are a much better match for him right now. FUTURE WATCH Come Monday it will be interesting to see who is going to be nominated along with the last of the ‘Untouchables’? Maybe, it will see some life breathed into the house then.Will the couples decide to do away with the lone Ofunneka or will they turn on each other.Will it be a Richiana versus Codreen match up? From the ways things are going, I have a feeling Code might be in trouble.Having been part of the T-unit, he might find himself in danger of being nominated.He’s withdrawn into himself a bit recently and rarely chats and laughs with the rest of his group unless he is spoken to.What is he thinking about? Is it his ‘shorty’ back home, or his position in the house.What would really make it more interesting is if the remaining ‘Untouchable’ wins head of house! That way, he or she will be able to save themselves and replace the name with another one from the ‘Boring 5’.Two of them on the spot! Imagine that! Maybe then they’ll become more energetic.God, how can people be so dead! Biggie, we’re counting on you to revive this show.It’s dying a slow death.* Catch all the BBA2 action on Channel 198, DStv.

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