Fairies fighting over pink handbags

It’s all too easy to brush off the Kazenambo Kazenambo-Elijah Ngurare spat as a childish load of crap or a school-yard tussle.

While a certain governor and his band of cluless idiots (with parents like these who needs enemies) applied padlocks to gates, to deny their kids the opportunity to minimise the effects of their genetic heritage, we had front row seats to an almighty lovers tiff playing out in the nation’s capital.
The youth minister and the leader of the biggest youth organisation in the country – both middle-aged men – swapped hilarious insults after Ngurare last week played tattletale on KK.
This apparently after ‘some ministers’ told the powers that there were irregularities at the SPYL congress. However, it was soon shown up for the fib it was. It was kamma a manifestation of the fertile imagination of someone. The congress went ahead without any ruckus. Who knows, maybe it was some imaginary friends who told some ministers the story.  
The aftermath of the congress saw a fight only angry five year old girls can muster. The one accused the other of being a ghost and the other accused the former of not being a nice friend because he didn’t come to his birthday party at Wimpy.
What if these guys were really youths, how would they have insulted each other?
I’m sure it would have been via SMS and it would go down a little something like this:
“Bitch please, I’m KK! What?”
“Gweppas in the house! Fake-ass bitch is nou wat?” The reply would probably come.
And so it would go on and on. Not very gangsta.
Bitch-ass punks and punk-ass bitches comes to mind. Non?
If KK or Ngurare had any real youth cells left in their bodies they would have dared the other one to a bloody video game or a knife fight in the street. Pakamish! Like those hardcore rural boys at Nuuyoma High in the Oshana Region where the police confiscated a massive cache of knives, omkondas, sharpened screwdrivers and knobkieries. These boys will cut you bad!
Apparently there’s an area in the hostel called Baghdad. You only dare to walk there if you consider yourself an yster. Of course, none of this is possible without some ombike..... Don’t play pappa!
These guys make KK and Ngurare look like fairies fighting over pink handbags.
No wonder these ‘leaders’ do not feel man enough to fight for the rights of these kids. They clearly have something to learn about territory and the smell of piss and fear, from these rural boys.
And how the hell do you break down and cry at a policy conference? Are Swapo’s policies such a monumental failure that a grown ass-man cries just thinking that he wasn’t able to implement any meaningful policies? Or maybe Ngurare and his entourage waited for him outside in the parking area and teased him and gave him a wedgie before he entered.
Naughty, naughty, naughty!
And why the hell was KK singing ‘Semma Oulipeni’ while the old man was standing but a few metres from him? Maybe he sang sanity oulipeni. OK, seriously, maybe he just longed for some real kick ass leadership.

A spanking, anyone?

– rambler@namibian.com.na

---