Hereís what Malema might say
WITH the help of my friends in high offices, I have captured this revolutionary draft speech of Julius Malema. I just hope these elders would behave and let the man come. Judge for yourself.
No protocol observed!
I am here in Nambabwea, I mean Namibia, because I was invited to South Africaís tenth province. See, if you are a true revolutionary, comrades from all over the country and continent will see you and invite you. And this is how the youth can also make money.
I wanted to start with a joke so I brought my matric certificate.
So for your benefit and enjoyment, I am going to talk about myself. Here are some quotes attributed to me over the years. I will not say they are all correct and true but letís talk about it.
Let me follow the example of the imperialist media and talk about me.
ďI am a man of big ideas. I am also not afraid to speak my mind if I have one that day.Ē
Revolutionary young Africans donít just have to rely on the crumbs passed to them by the elders in the form of tenders and tjo-tjo and we can install our own swimming pools. We donít have to rely on Italian businessmen. Iím making some serious money from this talk and I used to be an African youth.
I just want to tell that dick-tator Jacob Zuma and his lackeys. Iím not leaving politics! EVA! How do you want to deal with me now? Banish me to Botswana or what? One isnít born into politics but when politics plants its sweaty, arse on your face you have to think of your dignity. But Iím never leaving it. How can you quit something which is in your blood? ďYou can arrest me, but you canít arrest my ideas.Ē Yes, Iíve said it! I am the true and only livelong President of South Africa! Ai, I mean of the ANC Youth League (ANCYL). Unfortunately, because of the reactionary dick-tatorial tendencies of the elders in my party, Iím out in the cold, or so they thought. But I have jackets. You know, Gucci, Fubu, Carducci and even Dickies jackets. When these old people suspended me they thought I would become hungry, stupid and ugly. They lied to themselves. Revolutionary African youth will never go hungry. We have slogans mos. When you donít have a job or food, just shout some slogan like íFight, Produce, Learní and youíll see. I dare you! Just try. Itís working. Weíve been sloganeering on nationalisation for years now and all of a sudden, the elders in our party are also talking about it in the open.
The theme of this lecture is apparently, ĎTowards the African Youth Manifesto: Economic Freedom in our Lifetimeí and Iím supposed to talk about that. But letís not waste each othersí time. We are already old, so these imperialists who have our elders in their pockets will rule for a long time still. So if I talk about, that Iíll just talk kak and you will realise it. All I can say is, the youth must take over. I donít know why your country and mine are still run by old people who donít even know Facebook and that thing Twitter.
People say I hate white people. Itís a lie, I hate counter- revolutionary old people. Especially those ones who are just useless and deny us jobs and positions. And when they give you a position you must apparently work. Nonsense!
In February, I said, ďWe are guilty of thinking.Ē The youth are not mamparas. The youth know things. We know who is sleeping with
who in which hotel and bed-and- breakfast and if we think about how we can use this, we are accused of being tjatjarag. Passop! We know things.
I also said, ďThe succession battle should be discussed without fear or favour. It should not be a taboo topic.Ē Any succession race in any revolutionary organisation must be debated, campaigned for and open to scrutiny. I hope Namibians are better than South Africans with this.
As an elder you shouldnít be irritated and you also shouldnít irritate the youth. Itís irritating.
ďThe youth has brought excitement into the politics of South Africa.Ē Itís true! We are excited and excitable and therefore, make everyone else exciting. Of course, the youth are the leaders of tomorrow and the elders must not be irritated. Itís irritating! We are gatvol!
emails from wannabe, ill- mannered Johnny-come-lately Pan-Afrikanists can be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org
See if I care!