Big Brother Africa 4: The Bold and the Broccoli!

GOT to love Leo the Nel, no relation to the Nels of Potchefstroom or Mariental. Not on your nelly!

Moz dude’s gone from ‘bit player’ to headliner in the reality show equivalent of a nanosecond!!
OK, OK Leo fans, I know his weird, wonderful and kinky ways have had some of you intrigued for a while. Still ...
And it seems it’s true what they say about a little power going a long way.
In the wake of Biggie headmistress’s announcement that Leo had out-Chuck Norris-ed everyone else to win Head of House (HoH), the capoeira kid went from ‘Code of Silence’ to ‘Firewalker’ (in Chuck Norris movie parlance). Just like that!
Caught a couple of really cute Moz moments on Friday – Leo revisiting the scene of his victory, and dancing on top of the puzzle he pieced together faster than the others (Lewis Hamilton watch out!).
And eish, great moments need to be relived! Leo was later caught, on more than one occasion, explaining to anyone who cared to listen just how he got it right.
Got to hand it to him, Leo’s feat may not make the list of great military moments, or go down in the strategy handbook, but he tackled that puzzle with the intent of Hannibal scaling the Alps. And on a personal scale, the result was Alpine for him!
He’s been peaking ever since ... not to mention occasionally getting piqued with some of his house troops.

DAZED AND DIZZY

Leo’s heady moments continued well into the night.
As the housemates prepared for their mystery celeb guest on Friday night, Moz dude appeared in a puzzle of an outfit.
In fact, it looked as though it could just have been chosen by one of Hannibal’s less fashionista-minded elephants!
I mean it was a jumbo of a fashion misstatement: a Yassir Arafat doek to contain his capoeira dreads, topped with designer sunglasses; his country flag draped around his shoulders over a flowing white African number!!
Even my alert interceptor centre operator deep in the south of Namibia initially did a doubletake:
“Code red alert, code red alert! Sexually confused suicide bomber on the loose.”
It turned out to be a false alarm on two fronts! Seems Leo the Nel was just expressing himself. And no, Code of Malawi (BBA2) was not set to be the mystery celebrity guest! Not a shiznit’s chance.
Of course, as we now all know, it turned out to be stunning American music sensation, Miss Keri Hilson.

    50 NAIRA VS
    QUINOCCHIO

On a more sober (uhmmmmmm, yes) note, seems some housemates had more than hangovers after Tuesday night’s drink-till-you drop session.
Picking up on her emotional outburst, Kristal told Kevin, Quinn, aka Quinocchio, and Mzamo the next morning that she felt really bad, saying it was inappropriate for a woman of her age.
Kevin told her not to be so hard on herself, but she said she needed to be more serious about her life. At some point she also looked into a camera and apologised to her mother for her behaviour.
Know a lot of viewers like to beat up on Kristal but have to say I like her. She’s one of the more vibrant life forms in the house! And hella, she’s been consistent.
Which is why, if I was a voter, I would find this week’s eviction choice difficult.
I way prefer rapper boy, 50 Naira (Kevin to you!), to Quinocchio, and Kristal to Elizabeth.
But 50 Naira’s teamed with Elizabeth, and Quinocchio with Kristal.
It’s a byatch of a choice!
Otherwise, Zimbabwe’s Itai, whose name may yet enter the dictionary as a synonym for paranoia, continues to live on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
Wild child Mzamo’s beetling round like a secondhand Mazda, Jeremy’s lovingly nurturing his entourage of muscles, Emma’s perfecting her movie pout, Nekka’s morphing into the new Hannington in terms of stirring things up, and Elizabeth’s brushing up on Mechanics 101 as 50 Naira continues to try and crowbar his way into her affections.

    BEER AND FLOUR

Eddie’s nurturing his obsession with running round in skimpy briefs (I sometimes wonder if he thinks he’s in the Playboy mansion?), while Geraldine’s actually getting in touch with her fun side.
Eish, Naija girl’s been putting on her playful in more ways than one. Don’t know if anyone else noticed an interlude with the much-missed Kaone before he left.
While they were cooking in the kitchen, Gerry told K-1 to ... uhmmmmm .... shove the flour where ... uhmmmmm ... the sun don’t shine.
And no, I’m not reinterpreting Meryl’s beer bottle moment with Justice! S’true, absolutely true. But hella, what is it with Motswana men making women get their shove on.
Oh yes, how could I forget Quinocchio. Quite easily actually.
Whatever, whatever. Just can’t warm to Squint. He needs to be weaned out of his entitlement diapers, cast aside his Mr Blobby pyjamas and grow a pair ... and I don’t mean broccoli heads. Gonads, usiles!
Happy voting BBA nation! I personally don’t think Kevin’s more of a threat to our boy than Quinn. At the end of the day, it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other. Whoever survives on Sunday will be a contender, be it Quinocchio, who was nominated by Eddie, or Kevin.
In fact, because of regional factors, Quinocchio might just turn out to be more of a threat of Eddie.
But if you want to win, you’ve got to be able to beat them all! So, vote for your favourite.
Stay tuned!

* You can watch Big Brother Africa 24 hours a day on DStv channel 198. The daily show, live nominations and eviction shows will be broadcast on M-Net Africa (DStv channel 102). Africa Magic (DStv channel 107) will broadcast all repeats.