That Awkward Moment When You’re Not NawaZone

Martha Mukaiwa

Art and About

This confusion then graduates into simmering outrage as the incessant flashing of cameras activates an episode of photo sensitivity that leaves photo whores glaring at reporters from beside branded walls, staring daggers while optimistically primping hair and reapplying lip gloss.

Though individual wording varies, the occurrence reaches its peak in a bafflingly entitled query of “can you take a photo of me and my friends?” just as journalists plan to move on with their soon to get awkward lives.

As a writer who often finds herself inconceivably snapping away and even fielding photo taking advice from people whose greatest achievement is convincing Facebook to change their surname to Kardashian or Minaj, I can’t help thinking that I blame NawaZone.

Having exploded onto the scene and emerged as Namibia’s social photographers par excellence while elevating every man and his dog to model, celebrity and foam at the mouth photo whore, the young photography agency is without a doubt the reason why I’ve taken to hiding my camera under my coat should I be in the vicinity of people quite obviously attending industry events for nothing more than glamour shots and chardonnay.

I suppose it’s when I’m pretending to take down a whole lot of random emails or Facebook names while being grilled about when and where the photos I just took will be published that I’ll start to get snippy and may say something like: “OK jokes, do I LOOK like Annie Liebovitz?”

Dripping with sarcasm and no doubt flying over the heads of someone whose Facebook middle name is Riri or Mshasho, these little outbursts only serve to aggravate photo whoritis and have randoms grabbing at my Blackberry and telling me their name is Anna not Annie while rolling their eyes at how a person can get such a simple name wrong and still call themselves a journalist.

At this point, I’ll give up. I may mumble about not being NawaZone and may even suggest they read my column in this little rag I write for so they’ll see my business is features not photography but this will be so wasteful of breath drowning victims will no doubt slap me quite solidly from across the ether.

What’s left to be said to those suffering from photo whoritis is that there is help, if you want it.

But the first step is admitting you have a problem.

If you are a sales girl, bank clerk, researcher or something that doesn’t bear the risk of seeing you and your craft ripped to shreds in the press come Friday and you catch yourself hovering in the background growing more and more furious while a journalist takes a photo of Gazza, Miss Namibia or the President of the Nation, that is a sign.

And should you find yourself whittling away at a journalist shaped voodoo doll because they still haven’t sent you the photograph you insisted they take of you and your brat pack over two months ago, your symptoms are severe.

To be clear: Journalists have work to do. We need to get quotes, suss out the vibe and get photographs of the people we are writing about before rushing home to write it up for your reading pleasure. And photo whoritis is the leading cause of us being boxed about the ears by our editors because story subjects walked stealthily out the door while we were caught up in a game of ‘I’m not from NawaZone’.

If a journalist asks to take a photo of you, go for it. Pout and pose to your heart’s desire while ensuring that the journalist in question’s smile is one that will land you in Faces at Places rather than Paparazzi.

Otherwise, marvelously and mercifully, there is NawaZone.

The behemoth of social photography that will make you look fabulous, compliment you on their Facebook page... And who won’t delete your photos the minute they are within eye rolling distance.



– marth__vader on Twitter or mail me on martha@namibian.com.na