Full Story
Big Brother Africa: Ofunneka loses her 'virginity'!
TODAY, October 19, is the Feast of Saint Frideswide, a blindingly beautiful abbess.
Fact.
Truly! The very attractive daughter of an Anglian prince,
Frideswide spurned the amorous advances of a suitor who ended up
being struck blind for his troubles.
Oh brother! And oh, BBA action, where art thou?!! What's this
got to do with anything, let alone BB?!! Kinda wondering myself
...
Well, it has been kind of a dry week in the house.
Quite frankly I would have rather been hanging with my gal,
Paris, in LA this past week, but it wasn't an option.
My column contract doesn't allow for it.
I have to be here to the bitter, B.I.T.T.E.R, end! So I guess I
have to make a fist of it.
And the Biggie in The Namibian house, THE Editor, has said we
need to expand the educational content of our Big Brother
columns.
Uhmmm ...
not true.
But still.
So thank God for 'The Saint-a-Day Guide'! The truth is, the 'Big
5' have provided us with little entertainment over the last couple
of days.
Uhmm, yes.
Almost enough said.
A spat here, a spat there.
You know, whinestone cowboy stuff.
That coupled with Richiana and Codeen honing their skills for a
life as kissograms after BBA2.
OK.
Why St Frideswide? Three things: Richard+amorous+devoted
groupies.
Given the religious devotion the dreadlocked one, Richard, seems
to evoke among legions of women, who I don't especially want to
know (except for the ever sweet one, Brown Shuga.
Love you, gal!), I wonder if the Tanzanian bedswerver wins BBA,
if they will be satisfied with even that! The forces are
gathering.
Today Big Brother, tomorrow the world! But is the world
enough?!! There's no immortality involved.
So, yeah, wouldn't be surprised if the cult of Richard have put
aside their Mills and Boon romances for a moment, and are drafting
a plea to the powers-that-be at The Vatican.
Saint Richard! Nothing less! One Tanzanian newspaper has already
hinted at their countryman's "saintly qualities".
Yep, peeps, because he didn't do IT with Tatiana when the world
was his, so to speak, in the Penthouse! Knock me over with a
GAZUUUUUUUNGA! I think I'm having a swami moment here.
THEY WHO WALK ON WATER ...
Which brings me to Ofunneka.
Another one of the housemates elevated to near saint status by
her groupies.
The way some of them carry on I wouldn't be surprised if they
think she's in line for a virgin birth! Nekka's played it pretty
cool, but suddenly, there's been a radical transformation, or is it
a reverse Damascus road experience? The girl has lost her image
'virginity'.
Cabin fever? Strategy? Or, as Bertha might have us believe, is
it just plain old needs, strategic or otherwise? The restrained
Nekka has gone.
We're seeing a new Offie.
Last week she jumped into bed with Kwaku for an intimate
conversation, at his invitation, kissed him as if he was the next
best thing to Nigerian sauce when his eviction was announced and
shed tears when he left.
Offie girl! Wassup? OK, one needs to bond in the house.
And I think it was a case of companionship with K.
BUT what I don't get is how she suddenly seems to have thrown
Maureen to the wolves! Ofunemama, not nice.
And, yeah, I've been among those who've taken the Mickey out of
Maureen, but you've got to hand it to the petite Ugandan, she's
given us more blah for the mile than anyone else! Well, perhaps a
bit more blah than we need ...
still, she's been consistent, hot-water bottle and all.
After Kwaku left, Offie said straight out that she suddenly felt
scared.
That seems to have been the turning point.
Offie has hit the revamp ramp, seemingly influenced by catwalker
Tatiana.
Be afraid, be VERY afraid! Suddenly, Offie's first friend in the
house is no longer good enough, and all but gives her the heebie
jeebies.
Maureen hasn't changed at all.
It's you, Offie.
Get a grip! And it's as if open season has been declared on
Maureen.
Yip, peeps, the sainted ones - Offie and Richiana - have taken
to what is tantamount to bullying someone from the heart of their
number.
It ain't a pretty sight! With gossip in the house reaching new
heights, seems the blessed triumvirate now perceive Maureen as what
my former colleague Chrispin Inambao likes to refer to as "a soft
target" ...
Let's stand up and speak out for Maureen! You go, Mo.
You've shown you can roll with the punches! And, yeah girl,
unleash that cling wrap like Spiderman's web and tie them up in
knots.
Look, Maureen has some irritating habits, but she's more than a
pretty face.
An airhead she's not.
When BBA1 housemate Gaetano and other guests were in the house
this week for discussions on poverty and AIDS, it was Maureen who
excelled with her intelligent comments! CLASSIFIEDS Maybe I should
have asked F_K_P, or is it F_P_K (you know who you are!) to guest
on the column this week ...
Eish, brother! And thanks, Girl (Un)dercover/ed! Girl power to
you!! Burn up the web.
And hella JULIE from NAM, you seem to be spending more than
Namibia's entire GDP on sending SMSes to the BBA strip and voting
for Richard ...
Otherwise, peeps, it's Richard or Code this week! * Catch BBA on
DStv Channel 198.
Truly! The very attractive daughter of an Anglian prince,
Frideswide spurned the amorous advances of a suitor who ended up
being struck blind for his troubles.Oh brother! And oh, BBA action,
where art thou?!! What's this got to do with anything, let alone
BB?!! Kinda wondering myself ...Well, it has been kind of a dry
week in the house.Quite frankly I would have rather been hanging
with my gal, Paris, in LA this past week, but it wasn't an
option.My column contract doesn't allow for it.I have to be here to
the bitter, B.I.T.T.E.R, end! So I guess I have to make a fist of
it.And the Biggie in The Namibian house, THE Editor, has said we
need to expand the educational content of our Big Brother
columns.Uhmmm ...not true.But still.So thank God for 'The
Saint-a-Day Guide'! The truth is, the 'Big 5' have provided us with
little entertainment over the last couple of days.Uhmm, yes.Almost
enough said.A spat here, a spat there.You know, whinestone cowboy
stuff.That coupled with Richiana and Codeen honing their skills for
a life as kissograms after BBA2.OK.Why St Frideswide? Three
things: Richard+amorous+devoted groupies.Given the religious
devotion the dreadlocked one, Richard, seems to evoke among legions
of women, who I don't especially want to know (except for the ever
sweet one, Brown Shuga.Love you, gal!), I wonder if the Tanzanian
bedswerver wins BBA, if they will be satisfied with even that! The
forces are gathering.Today Big Brother, tomorrow the world! But is
the world enough?!! There's no immortality involved.So, yeah,
wouldn't be surprised if the cult of Richard have put aside their
Mills and Boon romances for a moment, and are drafting a plea to
the powers-that-be at The Vatican.Saint Richard! Nothing less! One
Tanzanian newspaper has already hinted at their countryman's
"saintly qualities".Yep, peeps, because he didn't do IT with
Tatiana when the world was his, so to speak, in the Penthouse!
Knock me over with a GAZUUUUUUUNGA! I think I'm having a swami
moment here.THEY WHO WALK ON WATER ...Which brings me to
Ofunneka.Another one of the housemates elevated to near saint
status by her groupies.The way some of them carry on I wouldn't be
surprised if they think she's in line for a virgin birth! Nekka's
played it pretty cool, but suddenly, there's been a radical
transformation, or is it a reverse Damascus road experience? The
girl has lost her image 'virginity'.Cabin fever? Strategy? Or, as
Bertha might have us believe, is it just plain old needs, strategic
or otherwise? The restrained Nekka has gone.We're seeing a new
Offie.Last week she jumped into bed with Kwaku for an intimate
conversation, at his invitation, kissed him as if he was the next
best thing to Nigerian sauce when his eviction was announced and
shed tears when he left.Offie girl! Wassup? OK, one needs to bond
in the house.And I think it was a case of companionship with K.BUT
what I don't get is how she suddenly seems to have thrown Maureen
to the wolves! Ofunemama, not nice.And, yeah, I've been among those
who've taken the Mickey out of Maureen, but you've got to hand it
to the petite Ugandan, she's given us more blah for the mile than
anyone else! Well, perhaps a bit more blah than we need ...still,
she's been consistent, hot-water bottle and all.After Kwaku left,
Offie said straight out that she suddenly felt scared.That seems to
have been the turning point.Offie has hit the revamp ramp,
seemingly influenced by catwalker Tatiana.Be afraid, be VERY
afraid! Suddenly, Offie's first friend in the house is no longer
good enough, and all but gives her the heebie jeebies.Maureen
hasn't changed at all.It's you, Offie.Get a grip! And it's as if
open season has been declared on Maureen.Yip, peeps, the sainted
ones - Offie and Richiana - have taken to what is tantamount to
bullying someone from the heart of their number.It ain't a pretty
sight! With gossip in the house reaching new heights, seems the
blessed triumvirate now perceive Maureen as what my former
colleague Chrispin Inambao likes to refer to as "a soft target"
...Let's stand up and speak out for Maureen! You go, Mo.You've
shown you can roll with the punches! And, yeah girl, unleash that
cling wrap like Spiderman's web and tie them up in knots.Look,
Maureen has some irritating habits, but she's more than a pretty
face.An airhead she's not.When BBA1 housemate Gaetano and other
guests were in the house this week for discussions on poverty and
AIDS, it was Maureen who excelled with her intelligent comments!
CLASSIFIEDS Maybe I should have asked F_K_P, or is it F_P_K (you
know who you are!) to guest on the column this week ...Eish,
brother! And thanks, Girl (Un)dercover/ed! Girl power to you!! Burn
up the web.And hella JULIE from NAM, you seem to be spending more
than Namibia's entire GDP on sending SMSes to the BBA strip and
voting for Richard ...Otherwise, peeps, it's Richard or Code this
week! * Catch BBA on DStv Channel 198.