What do you want?
We all want something. Often that which we crave is not what we can do for ourselves but rather what ‘government’ can shower upon our arses. Of course, Namibians like things...
‘Struggle kids’ want jobs... or do they really? Maybe they just want to stir shit for the new PM.
Neka wants government to just pull a bunch of jobs right out of its rather ample arsehole. And how! It must be quite a hefty arse for all the jobs required to emerge from it, miraculously. How about establishing a ministry? That will create jobs mos. I think they should give (no, actually I want them to give) the job of Minister of Struggle Kids to Utoni Nujoma or Kilus Nguvauva. A big job for a big man. We can give the PS job to Benitha Nakaambo. It seems she is the only one in Namibia who actually read the Veterans Act.
But Neka also want a pension payout for the ‘kids’ even before they’ve been employed. And by God, if Hage doesn’t get up and pull those jobs out of his rectum they will go on strike! But doesn’t strike mean to stop doing the productive activity you are engaged in. Oh well, let them strike! What will they stop doing? Being ridiculous, obnoxious, needy, obstructionist and unable to do an honest day’s work or say struggle without butchering the word?
And while we are at it, here’s what I want...
I want a small farm, 100 cows, o-two-point-seven oVVTi Toyota and a kamboroto who could afford her own cellphone credit but I haven’t yet found a willing benefactor for my rather urgent and important wants. And I have not (yet) made a consistent and persistent contribution to the liberation struggle and can therefore not attempt a one man strike outside the Veteran’s Ministry’s office. But stranger things have happened in this wonderful land of ours. I wouldn’t be surprised if government announce a monthly allowance of N$2 500 for the ‘kids’ just because they ask so politely. And no, I don’t have an entitlement syndrome.
But we aren’t the only people who want shit this week. Farmers want government to buy fodder for their animals as drought is now a reality. everyone and his three-legged dog who had more than three working brain cells have advised these people to sell their livestock while it could still fetch some sort of price in the market. It really is easy to understand. You sell your 100 cows now and make N$100 000. You keep that money and ten or so cows that you can care for. As soon as the drought is over you buy 100 calves probably at N$50 000 and use the rest of the money to raise them. But no. How could we expect them to part with their wealth even if that wealth only exists in the eyes of their neighbours.
Please Prime Minister, they ask. Help us. As if the Prime Minister brought the drought with him to that office. Or did he?
Meanwhile, civil servants, who are to see massive salary increases, want their regrading to be finalised post-haste. Others want the regrading declared null and void because they are not to benefit and the consultancy was given to those filthy imperialists.
Couldn’t Frans Kapofi just give that job to Brian Nalisa like all good and controversial institutions should? Or maybe this project actually involved some work... bummer!
Etse, everyone wants a tender. even those who can’t spell tender. Teachers tender to supply spare parts and everyone’s a businessman who can do anything. We are a nation of middlemen. “Og aaye”, to quote comrade Jerry.
Others want (that word again) to travel the world and do more shopping than work, on our expense, and if they are caught they want to cry foul like Magreth Mensah-Williams last week. Some journalists want to expose the folly of elected leaders but are made out to be jealous miscreants who are unnecessarily stirring kak.
Let me know what you want? Maybe we can all ask Hage to oblige and indulge us since he is the go-to guy for everyone’s wants.
– rambler@namibian.com.na