Our Saara sashayed into Parliament on Tuesday sporting a grin and a bag chock-a-block full of gifts from her little budget.
It also showed that someone might listen if you complain long, hard and nasty enough on The Namibian's SMS pages everyday, radio call in programmes and those Facebook pages where the issues of the day are discussed in great depth and with decorum. In normal societies you could just raise your issue with your local councillor at constituency meetings or you could write him or her a letter. However, our society is as normal as a lifelong patient of a looney bin and our councillors wouldn't know what to do with a problem if it hit them in the face. Also, problems don't pay S&T.
With lower transfer duties for properties, a higher tax threshold and less of your income going to the tender preneurs via the taxman, this year's budget is indeed one that brings a smile to even the wrinkly old face of the Rambler. I just hope it's implemented immediately so we can pay that overdue Edgars account.
Even the old folks got a raise, and it's not as if they toi-toied in slow motion at Government Office Park.
But nothing government ever gives with the right hand come without a moerse klap from the left hand.
See, what the good Lord and our Saara have giveth, the Klipdrift and Tafel will taketh.
South Africa on Wednesday increased customs and excise duties by between 5,7% and 10% in his 2013 budget. As Namibia is part of the Southern African Customs Union (Sacu), the pleasure tax increases are also effective here immediately.
But what does all of this really mean? More money going to South Africa... We import 70% of everything we eat, drink, smoke, wear and wipe our arses with from our more affluent, plumper big sister from the wrong side of the Orange River.
When will we ever teach ourselves to fish? OK, I know angling skills have no value in Khorixas, but still.
But with our Saara's generosity comes questions as well.
Someone asked why she wouldn't add a bit more for the orphans. They only receive just over N$200 per month. How do you live with that?
Pensioners in South Africa get double what ours get. Before you tell me how much richer they are than us take into consideration that 15 million South Africans receive some kind of welfare grant.
Others asked why would we spend around N$4 billion on defence. Since we do not really need an army this budget will probably flow unhindered (like that three million) into the pockets of those making the decisions. And while most of
us tried to find out how many Hendrikies Saara will put back in
our pockets, so that we can budget it, we should look past our pielstyf and recognise that we have all along been charged criminally high tax rates. Those rates have not now been slashed in half.
No, most people will still entrust around 20% to 30% of their income to a government with the administrative dexterity and guile of an armless man bugged with an arse itch.
Worryingly our deficit grows to N$7,5 billion. It's like we borrow money for our rent and spend the money on food. Our mouths will shine nicely but we'll have a fight with the landlord.
But even though Saara shined and shared, our problems didn't evaporate overnight. Our health system is still in the toilet and the current political leadership has no skill to cut themselves out of that cocoon. Our schools have been neglected for too long and many teachers still need to sit in a class.
Or is the taxpayer perhaps the goose...