Who should get the job?
RUDDERLESS. our national game is at the moment... but so they’ve been for a while. Bernard Kaanjuka decided that his cushy government job is more than enough for him.
I don’t blame the brother. Who would want to get kaked on by Mberi Rukoro after a loss and nowadays that’s after every game. So, we find ourselves minus a coach and we have Nigeria’s Super Eagles flying our way soon. Horror! oh, the horror! So, who should get this most difficult of jobs?
Hage Geingob
He’s not only the patron of Namibian football but also rugby. He might be the patron saint of the mega-comeback. Remember when Namibia’s senior national football team could still manage a good comeback? He knows as much as any armchair critic out there. Maybe under his tutelage we could become the mini-power we once were. oK, so I know he has bigger fish to fry, being Namibia’s president-elect and all, but I’m sure he can handle that shit like the pro he is.
Hifikepunye Pohamba
He’ll be out of a job soon. I don’t think retirement will suit this fellow. He’s been used to the public criticism of his work (or lack thereof) and has developed a foolproof solution for it: Ignore the shit out of whatever is hurled at you. Perfect really for the head coach job. But what about football knowledge, I hear you ask. Well, there’s no indisputable proof that most of his predecessors actually possessed any real knowledge of the beautiful game. Just look at their results. Maybe our Lukas can still salvage his legacy by taking us to a World Cup.
Ricardo Mannetti
No, seriously. He’s been a professional, a national captain, a coach and he nearly made the Brave Warriors look like the bunch of amateurs they are this past Easter, with a hastily assembled bunch of kids, including a 15-year-old defender, in The Namibian Newspaper Cup Shadow team. He was 16 and in the national set-up once.
Martin Shali
He’s been the flavour of the month with the youth so why not? He has commanded thousands of troops, so what are 11 boys from Dolam? Maybe he could put on his uniform and walk up and down the touchline with his AK-47. Maybe that will instill some much needed discipline in those chaps.
Rusten Mogane
Now, this man needs a job. If he’s lucky enough to get the job it would be his third time. It was under him and Peter Uberjahn
and later under Uberjahn and him that Namibia enjoyed its best days
in football. Since we won’t be able to
attract real top names like Guus Hiddink or Sven Goran Eriksen
(unless Knowledge Katti hurries up and
finds that bloody oil soon) we should
probably stick to a local coach and who better than
the former ‘Nawa Nawa’ star?
Jerry Ekandjo
If we make Jerry the coach he wouldn’t need to get paid another salary. He already knows the feeling of getting demoted and has juggled many official portfolios and party tasks at once so performing at two jobs wouldn’t be new to him. He’s another youth flavour of the month so he would fit in seamelessly.
Toby ‘Turnaround Strategy’ Aupindi
If ever an institution needed a turnaround strategy, it is our national football team. Whether he knows anything about the beautiful game should not be an issue. This man has a Ph.D in turnaround strategies. He will make the Brave Warriors turn around so much no one will be able to take a ball off them.
Pohamba Shifeta
At least he would look good on the touchline.