We should consider an alternative to booze
WE have a serious drinking problem. No prizes for acknowledging that. As they say the first step to getting better is acknowledging that you have a problem. We’re such a bunch of suiplappe that even if alcohol prices are doubled, we’d still want to show off and prove that we could afford the expensive stuff.
Even if we don’t pay support and our kids starve in some rural backwater with their grandparents.
But those in the know will tell you that you shouldn’t just stop cold turkey. You should probably substitute one evil with a lesser evil. And anyone who would argue otherwise should submit to a blood alcohol test for their arguments to be taken seriously.
And this is where weed comes in. Oh how we need some weed.
Everyone has had a spliff. Everyone! Even your parents who pretend to be all grown up and pious now. They most probably had a puff of the holy herb once and probably laughed their arse off by just looking at people or had the munchies so bad they consumed a whole loaf of bread on their own. It’s not a drug, it’s a herb, regular users of it often argue. Most people, present company included, would deny that they ever had a puff though.
It’s so popular it’s one of the things with the most nicknames. Marijuana, as it’s officially known is also called dope, grass, ganja, giggle weed, Aunt Mary, Mary Jane, chronic, rego, wacky tobacky, bud, grass, pot, herb, boom, indo, killaz, smoke, dankity dank, cannabis and even aaptwak. You don’t give a pet name to something you hate.
Weed smokers are known to be relaxed and tolerant. Others would say slapgat and dikdood. Or maybe it will help us to just chill the hell out.
Imagine the consequences of decriminalising weed. NBC viewers would damage fewer TV sets while watching the Parliamentary Report.
Better still, we should make it compulsory for all Parliamentarians to have a blunt before sessions.
If all our leaders would rather indulge in some ganja smoking instead of whiskey, beer and cognac we might not have so many issues, infighting and jockeying for positions. Maybe they’ll make some sense if we’re all high on some groen.
They don’t make much sense now anyway. There’ll be no silly fights and grandstanding and we will come up with innovative solutions for our problems. Just get someone to implement it.
Or we’ll just laugh at their nonsense. It’s definitely cheaper than booze.
Those against it say dagga causes short term memory loss. Maybe that’s what we need at this stage, to forget the shit we always talk about but can’t solve and the crap situation we’re in, like our unemployment rate.
They’ve concocted this gogga Tipeeg which was supposed to generate jobs, at least in the short term, for us. But so far every job they’ve kamma created cost us about half-a-million and I can’t keep count. Why couldn’t they just give us the damn money? Basic Income Grant anyone?
Now, if we turn huge pieces of unused land into dagga plantations we could actually create some jobs. If Ndishishi would just put his thinking cap on.
Even if we produce several thousand tonnes of weed every year we would still not have enough to export. Think of the money all the Permanent Secretaries can make from this deal. And we wouldn’t even spend N$3 billion.
There’s an old saying – ‘A friend with weed is a friend indeed, A friend without weed is a friend you don’t need’.
Just legalise it.
-rambler@namibian.com.na