Although I am only registered as an employee once, as a vendor I am registered thrice. With only one VAT-number.
The whole thing started with our embattled (former) CEO, Titus Haimbili’s philosophy, which he would share with us at all hours of the day and sometimes at midnight on a Saturday night. But those were mostly secretaries who were caught red-handed listening to him at night. Most senior people would not be caught dead admitting something like that. Anyway, my personal introduction to his philosophies came one sad afternoon when we were both stuck on the dilapidated railway-line between Aus and Luderitz. As it later turned out, some scorned secretary (one of his) changed our booking while changing the train schedule and caused the delay in the rehabilitation of the railway line.
Titus (The Talented Mr Haimbili) was contemplating blaming the government or alternatively the Chinese contractors for the delay, instead. Noting the culturally expected expression of shock on my face, he said: “I believe the safest pillow to sleep on is the pillow of a clear conscience.”
I looked at him even more dumbfounded as neither of us had a pillow or a conscience with us. Our luggage had been ‘misplaced’.
I was not even supposed to be with HIM on that train on that day. I was happily blackmailing a receptionist who had registered herself as a Procurement Manager and was actually attending management meetings. Nobody actually noticed a thing. She was getting away with it.
I mean, how could we have known? Just like the rest of management she dressed well, drove an expensive car and knew absolutely nothing about anything. Until I accidentally bumped into her, while storming out to lunch an hour earlier. She almost fell over but manage to steady herself with remarkable ease. Then her nail polish fell out. That was a dead giveaway. We did not say a word but I knew. And she knew I knew.
Thats how it all started. I was doing OK, blackmailing
this chick. Not much, two-three paychecks one month, maybe a seventy per cent pay rise every other month. But then I got greedy. I tried to get her to cancel the order for the Chinese locomotives. She refused as she was sleeping with a Chinese contractor at the time and would not jeopardise her income. She would not budge on firing Titus (Haimbili) either merely saying: “He has been good to me”. How, I will probably never know.
But it is when she caught me trying to get her kicked off management, that things took a turn for the worse. I had been working closely with the cleaners for weeks on a devious plan that involved sex, money and character assassination. We were trying to replace her with a data typist or someone professional like that.
But one of the cleaners posted way too much online, probably while drunk, and my game was up.
Anyway, that’s when I found out that Titus lacked diverse thinking: After two days he still only had the Chinese, government and ‘other management cadres’ to blame. And he lacked commitment and motivation. For example
he later dropped the Chinese as potential culprits on the basis that he did not have evidence.
That’s why the board fired him.
Difference between Hambili and myself is that I can wake up from my fantasy while he is the protagnistin the nightmare.