Something’s Gotta Give...
By: Confessions of an urban single momGIVE in... or give up.
The question is: Will it be life... or will it
be us? Raise your hands if lately life has upped the cruel and unusual punishment. Keep it there, if suddenly, bills have escalated to the extent where you’ve become telephone buddies with the angry ladies that call you from the debt collectors offices; friends you thought would always be there, have turned into ferocious enemies, and the term ‘genuine happiness’ has become an airy-fairy notion as elusive as a rainbow’s end with a pot of gold. Stretch that hand up even higher, if you’ve been looking at your life in its entirety and felt horrendously weak, unbearably lonely and disastrously incompetent.
I, the Urban Single Mom am raising both hands.
In fact, my elder sister and super aunt, The Wise One and I, have been wildly flailing around two pairs of hands in the air, for the last year or so. For those of you unfamiliar with my story, here is some back info. It’s been a ridiculously tough time but, under the circumstances we’ve done very well. We have had to deal with loss on various levels, where collectively we bid farewell to jobs, dreams, loved ones, friends and disposable incomes. Loss of this magnitude is deeply entrenched and brings about great anxiety and anguish.
But, together, we have managed to keep our not so average urban family clothed, fed and protected. We’ve churned out countless mini-miracles and slain numerous dragons. We’ve managed to remain (relatively) sane and kept our collective monsters, The Trolls and my niece, The Awesome Aries, afloat. Together, on an emotional budget consisting purely of panic, tears, prayers and absolutely necessary Emergency Wine Parties, we have ensured that no person or animal, alive or fictitious has been harmed in any way.
Congratulations to us. We have been, for all accounts and purposes, two very cool cats. Life has gone out of its way to curb our wayward laughter into half hearted Mona Lisa smiles, but we have persevered. No. Present tense. We are still persevering.
Neither my problems nor my darkness has gone, but somehow in some little way, a change of perception has stepped in, and I have reached a psychological
truce. I bless my demons. I don’t like them...but I bless them. Congratulations to you too, fellow Single Moms. I know all about how you struggle to make ends meet, how some nights you cry yourself to sleep. I know all about how you pretend to be strong for the sake of your kids. I know all about how alone you feel in the midst of a storm, the pain you experience when you cannot provide as well as you might have wanted to, the embarrassment of asking for help. I know all about the silent prayers for strength, courage and protection.
But dry those tears and look around you. Look at how your prayers have been answered. Look at your strength. Look at how well you’ve done. Congratulations to you. We are soul sisters, all of us.
The thing with life is that you can’t stop it from happening. You can’t stop it from happening to you. Something’s gotta give. Give in... or give up. And it’s sure as hell is not going to be life. That leaves us with us. Giving up is not an option. And giving in seems so cowardly... but is it really? Perhaps giving in just means that you get out of your own way. You release your grip, you accept what you cannot change, and you allow yourself to flow... with the flow.– urbansinglemom@gmail.com