Gay Bombs And Nukes

By: Opinion

THE old Sixties slogan urged people to "Make Love, Not War," but who says you have to choose? If you drove the other side's soldiers mad with lust, then they'd be too busy with each other to cause you much trouble.

Of course, there is still a severe shortage of women in most

front-line formations, but that shouldn't be a problem.

In fact, it could be an advantage.

 

We could call it the "gay bomb."

 

It was the Sunshine Project, a group devoted to exposing

research into chemical and biological weapons, that revealed the

proposal for an aphrodisiac weapon, "distasteful but completely

non-lethal," that figured in a 1994 funding request from the

research lab at Wright-Paterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio.

 

They also had ideas for chemicals that would make enemy troops

attract wasps or give them bad breath, but it was the love-gas that

really caught the eye."Category No. 3: Chemicals that affect human

behaviour so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely

affected. One...example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if

the chemical also caused homosexual behaviour."

 

Full marks for lateral thinking, boys, but have you considered

the implications of your little idea? What if terrorists get their

hands on this weapon and set about to subvert America's moral fibre

in a really big way? Random attacks on church services, sales

conventions, high school pep rallies -- the imagination quails at

the prospect.

 

But mercifully, the gay bomb was never developed.

 

In fact, the people proposing to do the research for it didn't

have the faintest idea of what chemicals, if any, might produce the

results they described.

 

They were just fighting for their share of the

researchbudget.But there really is no limit to the scientific

imagination when it comes to weapons.

 

Take the case of the chicken-powered nuclear land mine.

 

Back in the mid-Fifties, the British army was wrestling with the

question of how to give British troops time to retreat if the

Soviet hordesbroke through their defences in Germany.

 

You generally lay mines as you retreat, if you have time, in

order to slow down the pursuit -- and now we are living in the

atomic age.

 

Perhaps we should look into the notion ofnuclear land mines?And

so they got on with it, taking the standard British free-fall

nuclear bomb of the time, the fetchingly named Blue Danube, and

designing a pressurised, water-tight casing for the land-mine

version.

 

When completed,the new weapon, Blue Peacock, weighed seven

tonnes.

 

It could be buried inthe ground or sunk in a lake or river, and

it could be detonated either bywire, from a command post up to

three miles away (which seems a bit close to a ten-kilotonne

explosion) or by an eight-day clockwork device.

 

It was a quite serious if fundamentally insane piece of

technology-- it was even designed to detonate in ten seconds if

anybody tried to move it -- but there was one hitch.

 

It gets very cold in the winter in Germany,and nuclear weapons

are sensitive devices that do not like the cold.

 

Environmental tests suggested that the warhead simply would not

work if Blue Peacock was left buried in the ground or immersed in

water in the coldest winter months.

 

What to do? The boffins at the Armament Research and Development

Establishment in Kent were not daunted: in a 1957 memorandum, they

suggested a variety ofways to keep the buried or submerged casing

warm during the hours, or even a few days, before it was

detonated.

 

The most attractive by far was a proposal that a flock of

locally recruited chickens should be put into the casing before it

was closed and planted somewhere.

 

There would be enoug hair to keep them alive for some days, and

their body heat would keep the weapon warm.In the end, the suicide

chickens were never deployed, which is probably just as well

because the designers seem to have overlooked the fact that

chickens produce copious amounts of, well, chickenshit, which gums

up even the finest machinery.

 

Blue Peacock was cancelled at the end of 1957 in favour of a

more compact nuclear land-mine based on newer technology and with a

built-in heater.

 

Military R&D projects have a veryhigh attrition rate.

 

What does it all mean? Oh, not very much, except that no idea

for a new weapon is so bizarre, vicious or plain silly that it

won't find anadvocate somewhere in the military-industrial

complex.

 

It is a very big beast, and it has to be fed constantly.

 

* Gwynne Dyer is a London-based independent journalist whose

articlesare published in 45 countries.

 

In fact, it could be an advantage.We could call it the "gay

bomb."It was the Sunshine Project, a group devoted to exposing

research into chemical and biological weapons, that revealed the

proposal for an aphrodisiac weapon, "distasteful but completely

non-lethal," that figured in a 1994 funding request from the

research lab at Wright-Paterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio.They

also had ideas for chemicals that would make enemy troops attract

wasps or give them bad breath, but it was the love-gas that really

caught the eye."Category No. 3: Chemicals that affect human

behaviour so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely

affected. One...example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if

the chemical also caused homosexual behaviour." Full marks for

lateral thinking, boys, but have you considered the implications of

your little idea? What if terrorists get their hands on this weapon

and set about to subvert America's moral fibre in a really big way?

Random attacks on church services, sales conventions, high school

pep rallies -- the imagination quails at the prospect.But

mercifully, the gay bomb was never developed. In fact, the people

proposing to do the research for it didn't have the faintest idea

of what chemicals, if any, might produce the results they

described. They were just fighting for their share of the

researchbudget.But there really is no limit to the scientific

imagination when it comes to weapons.Take the case of the

chicken-powered nuclear land mine.Back in the mid-Fifties, the

British army was wrestling with the question of how to give British

troops time to retreat if the Soviet hordesbroke through their

defences in Germany. You generally lay mines as you retreat, if you

have time, in order to slow down the pursuit -- and now we are

living in the atomic age. Perhaps we should look into the notion

ofnuclear land mines?And so they got on with it, taking the

standard British free-fall nuclear bomb of the time, the fetchingly

named Blue Danube, and designing a pressurised, water-tight casing

for the land-mine version. When completed,the new weapon, Blue

Peacock, weighed seven tonnes. It could be buried inthe ground or

sunk in a lake or river, and it could be detonated either bywire,

from a command post up to three miles away (which seems a bit close

to a ten-kilotonne explosion) or by an eight-day clockwork

device.It was a quite serious if fundamentally insane piece of

technology-- it was even designed to detonate in ten seconds if

anybody tried to move it -- but there was one hitch.It gets very

cold in the winter in Germany,and nuclear weapons are sensitive

devices that do not like the cold.Environmental tests suggested

that the warhead simply would not work if Blue Peacock was left

buried in the ground or immersed in water in the coldest winter

months.What to do? The boffins at the Armament Research and

Development Establishment in Kent were not daunted: in a 1957

memorandum, they suggested a variety ofways to keep the buried or

submerged casing warm during the hours, or even a few days, before

it was detonated. The most attractive by far was a proposal that a

flock of locally recruited chickens should be put into the casing

before it was closed and planted somewhere. There would be enoug

hair to keep them alive for some days, and their body heat would

keep the weapon warm.In the end, the suicide chickens were never

deployed, which is probably just as well because the designers seem

to have overlooked the fact that chickens produce copious amounts

of, well, chickenshit, which gums up even the finest machinery.

Blue Peacock was cancelled at the end of 1957 in favour of a more

compact nuclear land-mine based on newer technology and with a

built-in heater. Military R&D projects have a veryhigh

attrition rate.What does it all mean? Oh, not very much, except

that no idea for a new weapon is so bizarre, vicious or plain silly

that it won't find anadvocate somewhere in the military-industrial

complex.It is a very big beast, and it has to be fed constantly.*

Gwynne Dyer is a London-based independent journalist whose

articlesare published in 45 countries.

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